"Maker of Heaven" By The Desperation Band
This song has been so heavy on my heart. Listen to it while you read this blog :]
“You are the maker of Heaven, you turn my world around. You’re making all things new again; through it all I know, you are God alone.”
This race experience has taught me what it really means to trust the Lord. Let me explain.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on the impact that this journey has had on people outside of myself. I have been blown away, on so many occasions; by the way the Lord is moving in places I’m not even physically present.
As I said in my last blog, I came on the race to serve others, share the gospel, and learn more about other cultures. But more than that, I came to experience the Lord more. I came to pray over things and see the Lord move in that moment. I came to ignite something inside myself that wasn’t enflamed before. I came to see the Kingdom of God touch the nations. I came to live for Jesus, fully. And I thought that all of this I’d be experiencing on the field in whichever country I’d be in. Little did I know, the Lord had other plans.
As a racer, we depend on other people more than ourselves. We depend on supporters to financially support our lives for a year. We depend on the staff in Georgia to direct our paths from country to country. We depend on someone else to drive a plane, train, or automobile to get us from point A to point B. We depend on our contacts to ease our transition into a new culture and provide some sort of direction for a month. We depend on team leaders to handle all the “logistical” things regarding our contacts. We depend on finance leaders to handle our money – which in turn affects our living conditions and the food we eat. As a racer, independence is foreign, and I like it.
In some way, all of these things and people can fail me. Not for intentional or malicious reasons, but simply because most of these things are/involve people and people are human and humans are with sin, which means they’re not perfect. Therefore, they will fail in some regards at some point in their lives. I am human; therefore I fall into this category as well.
The truth in this is that God is perfect. He is unfailing. Through this journey, I have come to realize, for real, that I can trust God with all of my heart. I really can “trust in the Lord with all of [my] heart, and not lean on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
So, what do I mean by all of this, how does it relate, and why am I writing a blog about it? Well, simply because I am blown away by the workings of the Lord.
When I was in China, the Lord burdened my heart to pray boldly and fervently for 10 BIG things regarding 10 different people in my life. In that moment, I wasn’t sure why, and honestly, I didn’t believe that God would show up and “do” anything about those prayer requests.
(Not forgetting that this month, we had NO contact or communication with the outside world). Well, by the end of that month, the Lord had answered one of the requests. By the beginning of November, the Lord had answered another. At the end of December, He’d answered another. At the beginning of January, He’d done it again. And at the end of January, the Lord BLEW me out of the water by the way He responded to my request.
He called one of my best friends to end a relationship in her life which brought her into a new season, full of hardship and learning but ultimately bringing her to a place of realizing her desperate need for the Lord’s control over her life. He opened up one of my teammates Father’s hearts to questioning the gospel. He immensely blessed another one of my teammate’s significant other financially. He redeemed and restored my relationship with my Momma on a deep and intimate level by a simple letter I wrote her on Christmas which opened her heart to the workings of Christ. And finally, He brought my sister into a right relationship with Him.
Everything that the Lord had called me to press into prayer with, every single thing, was distant from me. I had no physical influence in their lives; I hadn’t seen some of the people I was praying for since I’d left for the race. But what is true is that through praying fervently, daily, for these things, the Lord developed an unshakeable trust in my heart. I knew that through my prayers and possibly the influence of my life through my blogs, possibly emails, or even skype calls, the Lord could do it BIG and respond to my requests. I wasn’t begging Him; I was simply “letting my requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6b).
Did you catch that last request that the Lord answered above? He redeemed, transformed and re-identified my beloved sister’s life to His. I stand, blown away by the beautiful workings of Poppa.
My sister and I are twins. We grew up attached at the hip until middle school. Our seventh grade year we transferred schools and had different classes for the first time in our lives which allowed us to pursue different friendships and in turn effected our lives in ways we hadn’t experienced before. Our high school years were miserable together; we’ll blame it on the hormones. Up until this point, we’d both say we were Christians, but neither of us were actively pursing a relationship with the Lord.
College brought us into a new season of our relationship. She went to VCU and I went to Mason. We were 2 hours apart. You’d think we’d continue to grow apart because of the distance, but the Lord united us in a very genuine and intimate way. Yes, there were still struggles. The Lord had captured my heart, for real this time, during my first week at Mason. He launched me into a season of deep growth and knowledge of Him. She lived a very different life. She joined a sorority where “keeping up the Jones’” was real and a part of her every day life. Our lives had changed, our love for one another had increased but the spiritual disconnect was increasing as well. She feared my judgment and I feared her life.
The night before I left for the race, we laid in bed and reminisced over many memories. We had both graduated from college in May, I was leaving for the race, and she was moving home to start nursing school. Through tears she shared big hopes that she had for the upcoming year. She said she thought God was going to do big things in her life, and she was sad I wouldn’t be there to experience those “things” with her. In reality, I couldn’t believe we were having that conversation right then. After three years of earnestly praying, numerous conversations, and lots of tears, it seemed clear that the Lord was in the process of capturing her heart.
She was saying, “Wait for Me Now” and I was saying, “I must go”. A peace settled over my spirit. I knew that God's plan to have me away from her this year was greater and better than I ever could have hoped or planned for. God's timing is perfect, and I knew that His workings in her life would be far greater than mine ever could be. During my time away, she had the opportunity to “own” her relationship with the Lord for herself, instead of living off the “family faith”. I knew that God had it all under control and I could trust Him.
In an email she recently wrote me, she said, “Not having a strong group of friends who had the same values that I did made it very easy for me to stray away from all that was instilled in me growing up. And once you start going it's hard to get it all back in order. It's like you have to keep up with your "new life" or people will stop accepting you. Basically the devil had me in his crosshairs and I tried to handle it all on my own. But the good and refreshing news is, that’s all in the past (praise the Lord). My passion is to reach people who are like me, sinners saved by grace that were walking with a mask on for fear of rejection. I think the hardest thing I struggle with is ownership of who I really am and letting that play out in my real life. I’m excited about the next chapter; pray that I continue to grow in the “good earth” and not get strangled by the weeds Mark 4 reference ya dig? ”
Remember when I mentioned in my last blog that the Lord gave me the word “worthy” for this month. It’s clear now as to why He did so. “To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thessalonians 1:11-12). Our “calling” from God, as Christians, is to become more like Christ. He empowers us to “carry His name” so that His gospel may be “glorified” in us so that we may be able to share with others. To be “worthy” of this calling means to want to do what is right and good.
His name is inside me. It is written as a seal upon my heart. He is taking me to places to share the gospel and to dispel darkness. Little did I know He would be carrying the words of my voice through Him to my doorsteps at home.
Wow. He did it. Initially my sister was saying, “Wait for Me Now”, but really, God was saying, “Wait for ME Now”, to the both of us. Once I reached a level of complete surrender and trust, the Lord moved.
”You’re making all things new again, and through it all, I know you alone are God”.
How are you trusting the Lord?
I love you sweet Dizzy. I'll always love you, no matter what season of life you're passing through. God blessed me immensely when He gave you to me as my sister. Know I'm praying for you always. Don't let the worries of this world bog you down too much. Keep your perspective eternal. Poppa will take care of you :]
