I love when God moves so vividly and He speaks so directly.
Last Monday, I was in the worst mood ever. I went home from work, literally ready to fight or scream at whoever ran across my path. Well, my cousin's friend was over and thought it would be funny to lock me out. This is a usual occurrence, but today, it just wasn't that funny. I kinda snapped at him when he opened the door, and then went straight to my room. I immediately I felt guilty and had to say that I was sorry, I was just in a bad mood. I made myself dinner, sat down at the kitchen table, and then started working on a project that I'm trying to finish up before I leave for the race. My mind was spinning. I couldn't concentrate. I felt overwhelmed. I knew that I needed to take a minute and pray. But I didn't. I sat there sulking in my own misery.
The longer I sat there, the greater I felt God pulling on my heart. So after almost 2 hours, I got up, put my running clothes on, and went for a run. I picked up my IPod again this time. This was my way of giving God a variety of avenues to speak to me (not that He needs it).
A few weeks before this, my squad leader, Megan, made a feedback friday video for all the team leaders to watch. It was silly, but real talk. She spoke in to each of us. She called us up and not out. She spoke about my heart incident that occurred a few weeks ago. She mentioned how this was God speaking to me – desperately wanting every part of me. That God wanted my heart, and He wanted all of it. After listening to everything she had to say, it all just kind of lingered in the back of my mind. I prayed about it maybe once or twice, but it wasn't a pressing issue. However, it was on the rolodex of thoughts, circling in my head.
My run was incredible. I listened to an album that I just bought a week or so ago by Kristene Mueller called, "Those Who Dream". One song in particular spoke specifically to all the emotions that I was feeling about the race, ending well in relationships, and moving on to a place that the Lord has so vividly and audibly called me to. But that's another blog in and of itself. As I was running back down the last stretch to my street, I was praying over and over that the Lord would speak to me about what He wanted me to do in this moment. How I could serve Him. What I needed to do more to honor Him through support raising or through my job. As I reached the yield sign at the end of my street this song came on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvIf7VZu8xY
I entered into my cool down as this song continued to play. This was it..God spoke to me here. In this song she speaks form the prospective of God. One of the verses she says, "You keep bringing Me sacrifices, to ease your mind, but it's your heart that I want." I immediately thought back to what Megan had said in her video. And it all started to unravel. I found myself sobbing as I tried to catch my breath and chill down my heart rate. I cried out to God and asked Him what about my heart that He wanted. What did He want me to do? Where did He want me to go? And then He brought my job at WEC to mind. He wanted me to share with the church what was going on in my life and where I'm going in a few short weeks. And the number one thing that I kept envisioning was a video. This was huge. I wasn't a member of WEC before I started interning, but throughout the time that I've spent here interacting with the staff and people of the church, this feels like home. I would call WEC my church, I love my church.
I went inside. Laid on the floor, and called my Daddy. I explained everything that happened to him and asked him to pray with me about talking to the lead pastor about how God had spoke to me. He spoke truth into my life and told me not to get too hyped on the idea, but allow God to work. That sometimes we have to wait on God and allow Him to work out the details.
So I did just that. I went to the office the next day. The lead pastor came in and immediately and he wanted to chat about the race. God thing? I think so. No more than an hour later, he came back into my office and asked all the interns to meet him in his office. We made a video for his weekly blog update. In the video he mentioned me and the world race. Video..talking about the race…God thing? I think so.
This whole experience was incredible. I stand in awe at the power of our God. I did nothing. I simply prayed for the Lord to move and that I would stand in surrender to wherever He led, and He showed up BIG time. Awesome.
Update: Right now I still need to raise $5640.90 for my trip. My biggest prayer throughout this whole process is that I'll be fully funded before I leave on September 4th. That is still my prayer. If you feel the call to give, click the "support me" link to the left of this screen! I thank Jesus for all of you and how much support you've already given prayerfully and financially! Thanks so much!
