It’s funny how when I’m processing through things that are going on in my heart, God sends a little something to quiet me and bring me to my knees. I am easily inspired. I feel God in deep ways through things that are going on around me. That happened this morning.
I’m excited to share a blog with yall that I’ve been working on for a while, I’m just waiting for a few more things to fall into place before I post it, and for God to move my spirit that “it’s time”.
So, I’m walking through a season of waiting. Uncertainty, discomfort, and fear easily burden my heart as I wait for the Lord. But this past month in Serbia, the Lord taught me about trust – that I need to trust him through the end. So, I am. I’m confident in His timing.
This morning as I was surfing the web…it’s REAL. (We haven’t had internet consistently for a while, but our super legit hostel has it, which means I could have internet in my BED! Crazy! However, I’m not use to it so I get bored after about 6 minutes, haha) Anyways, back to what I was saying. This morning I opened my facebook, and one of my friends had posted a song by Phil Wickham, “I’ll Wait for You There”. I started listening to it, and felt the presence of the Lord SO heavy in the room.
He says, “I need to hear You in the silence now. I’m calling for You. And with outstretched arms, I will sing out melodies. And my beating heart will pour out a symphony. Hallelujahs in the morning. Hallelujahs in the night. I will wait for you as long as I have life. I will wait for You there. Down On my knees where I met you. Cause life is a war fought with tears. But You are the strength I hold onto now. I’m calling for you”. This is so the cry of my heart right now.
It’s month 8. Wow. This is the time of the race where tiredness and thoughts of the future consume our minds. Desires of control can easily filter through our minds because in essence, we don’t have any. Feelings of “being over it” can creep in and selfishness may replace selflessness. All praise to the Lord, I haven’t felt any of this. Honestly, I’ve felt the opposite.
In my journal on March 30th, I wrote: “I don’t want this journey to end. I want to do something like this for the rest of my life Poppa. I desire to be deeply connected to your people. I desire to be a counselor of their deepest needs; to be a vessel by which your gospel and truth so vividly flow from. I don’t want to go home.”
Truth is, in four months, I’ll be landing in Dulles International Airport. Walking through corridors that lead to the ones that I love so deeply. And from there, a new journey that the Lord has already planned for my life will begin.
But as for now, this is where I’m at. In the hands of Poppa, embracing this community, learning about myself and the ways He created me, loving on His people and waiting for Him to speak. And as I wait, I’m clinging to His word.
Psalm 62 has been so significant in my life as I process through all this “stuff” in my heart. David says in verses 5-6, 8, and 11-12:
“For God alone, O my soul, waits in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My fortress; I shall not be shaken.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
Once God has spoken;
Twice I have heard this;
That power belongs to God,
And that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
According to his work.”
You’ve quieted my soul. I will wait in silence, trusting in your timing. And when I get to ends meet and feel like you aren't hearing me, I will continue to wait; because I trust you.
Amazing people that I now call family. They've made this journey so worth it.
Today begins our ministry. Pray for 220 as we transition. Pray for our contacts. Pray that we can glorify the Lord with the workings of our hands and the words from our mouths. Pray that we all can continue to be present and enjoy this unique time in our lives. That we may embrace the community we’re surrounded by and deeply love and know the people around us. I am praying earnestly that this month, I will see someone accept Jesus. Pray along side me :] I am SO thankful for all of yall that follow my blog and support me so relentlessly. You bless my heart.
How could you not love them? haha
