My last week in Swaziland was incredible. God continued to break my heart for the precious children and the potential that they have to literally change the world. I’m thankful that God gave me the opportunity to simply share life with them. I’m continuously praising the Lord for the work He’s done and continues to do in Swaziland.
Abandonment is something we’re asked to walk into with open hands on the race. We’re asked, more than anything, to abandon our expectations and walk in what the Lord wills for the year. Abandonment has taken on a whole new meaning for me this month since being in Swaziland.
Hlophe embracing his crib full of balloons
Meet Hlophe, a 17-month-old baby boy. He has a head full of hair and a heart in need of love. Hlophe is abandoned. When his mother found out she had orders to go to jail, she threw Hlophe in a bush to die. He was found and brought to the hospital on December 31, where he’s been since then. He calls everyone Momma. It’s not unlikely to find another mother, strategically positioned by his bed to in a sense “take care of him” as well as her own child. This broke my heart more than anything. Not only does Hlophe not understand that that woman is not his mother, he also doesn’t understand that she too will soon leave and he’ll be left “abandoned” yet again.
He is not too keen of white people, so spending time with him this past month was always interesting. Most of my time spent with him was listening to him cry. Every time we visited, I prayed for a peaceful and calm interaction. This finally came to pass this past week.
Jamie and I went into town to make one of our last trips to the hospital. We both had huge burdens for what the Lord was doing in that place, so we went, trusting that the Lord would show up. Upon arrival, we realized that Hlophe was awake and ventured over to his bed. As we neared, Jamie remembered that she had balloons in her backpack. We discussed for a minute if we should fill his bed with the balloons or share amongst all the children (it’s custom in Swazi that if you’re giving one person a “treat” you have to give it to everyone). We decided to bless Hlophe and give him all the balloons. So, we proceeded to blow them up and fill his bed. Immediately, a joy broke inside him and the biggest smile I’ve ever seen crept across his face. Jamie and I turned to look at each other as our jaws literally hit the ground. It was a beautiful site. We could barely contain our excitement as we stood over him and tossed the balloons back and forth to him.
It is my hope and the desire of my heart that like Mukelo, Hlophe will not see life through the bars of his baby crib for much longer. I am confident that the Lord will give Hlophe parents that will love him and care for his deepest needs.
Me and Hlophe, it may look like he's crying, haha
7-month old baby, Boy. That’s his name, Boy. I stumbled upon him in the malnutrition room. When I first met him he was crying his precious little heart out. His mother approached me, and in a low tone said, “you take him with you today”. Smiling, I looked up at her and said, “but he’s your boy”. I asked her what was ailing him, and she pointed to his feet and hands and I noticed they were super swollen. I still was unsure why he was in the malnutrition room because he didn’t look malnourished so I went to the head nurse, but she couldn’t give me any information.
Another time, I came by his bed, his clothes were soaked and he was crying yet again. I realized that his diaper, which was a makeshift towel, wrapped around his lower half and fastened with a clip, was soaked and smelly as well. A woman near by said that his mother went to do the wash and should be back soon. Not shortly after, she returned. She changed his diaper, but left his soaking wet shirt still on him and declared it “clean” to me.
Many things left me feeling suspicious about what was really going on with this baby and his mother but the last day left much for my to linger with. The last day I visited Boy; his mother was nowhere to be found, yet again. I asked the lady that tends to her baby next to his bed where she was and she said, “She’s sick. She’s thinking too much”.
I picked Boy up and cuddled him in my arms. Jamie and I had brought balloons again to pass out to all the kids so I blew one up for him, which he loved. I prayed over him and sang to him. I told Boy that he was formed and created by God, that he was loved and cherished and that God had big plans for his life.
I laid him back in his bed, and prayed that his mother would soon return. Jamie and I continued to go around and hand out balloons. After we were done, I went back to Boy’s bed. His mother was now sitting there with her head down. I went up to her and asked if she was ok. She told me she was sick. That she was sick in her mind with thinking. Being in the hospital is hard for Swazi women – or so I’ve learned throughout my time here. They tend to be the “hard” workers in their families – working in the fields and around the house. Staying in the hospital for days or even weeks, takes away from the time they could be working and providing for their families. His mother told me that her parents disowned her and that she had no one. She had been waiting for days for her husband to show up to take them home, but he hadn’t shown. I asked her very direct questions like, “does your husband treat you well” and “do you have food to eat at home?” and to all she answered with a very affirmative “yes”. I could tell that her heart was heavy and the load she was carrying wasn’t hers. After listening to her take for a while, and trying to send as much positive energy as I could through my smile and my hand that grazed her shoulder, I asked if I could pray for her.
I prayed that Boy would be healed in Jesus name; that her mind would be at ease, regarding her relationship with her parents and perhaps even with her husband; who I prayed would show up soon. She thanked me continuously for visiting her so consistently and praying for her and Boy.
Boy and His Mother
Abandonment. Boy’s mother may have passing thoughts of giving up her son because her life would be “easier”, but God has given Boy to his mother for a purpose beyond what she can see in this present situation. Boy is a gift, and abandoning that gift is not the desire of God’s heart. The opposite is true of Hlophe. He is abandoned. The gift that he was wasn’t embraced.
Thinking through this brought me back to the reality of the gospel – whether we receive the gift of it or reject it. Sometimes we get to a point in our lives where the devil gains a foothold and we think we’re better off without pursuing a relationship with the Lord. So, we “abandon” him thinking our lives will be “easier”. When in reality, nothing is easy without Christ. We need His influence and control in our life more than we need anything.
Where does Christ fall in your life? Have you received Jesus as the gift that He is or are you walking in abandonment?
