Being home has been harder than I expected, before we came home we were told how hard it would be, but it’s not something you comprehend until you experience it for yourself.
I got home and nested, by that I mean I wanted everything I didn’t have on the race, the abundance, the comfort and the convenience. It all seemed fine and honestly living the “American dream” and doing the normal things seemed great!
It seemed like the obvious thing to do after a crazy year of giving up on stability and normalcy.
Then project searchlight happened.
Coming here was a process, the enemy worked hard to keep me in a depressive state, to keep me feeling alone and the aspect of returning to community daunting.
But he didn’t win the fight
I showed up because I knew I needed to be here and there was something great here that the enemy was trying to keep me away from, He doesn’t work that hard for nothing.
Being here has been so refreshing and joy filled!
I found my joy that I lost somewhere along the way, I discovered new dreams that scare me in a good way, I found my desire for more, my passion and another level of love for God and understanding His love for me.
PSL was closure for the race ending and the igniting of another season starting !
One thing that God taught me at PSL is that He doesn’t need me to do a certain thing, He chooses me and allows me to choose as well.
Understanding this took the pressure off of feeling like if I make the wrong decision the world might end and realizing He guides us and pushes us, He doesn’t force us. He’s a loving father who holds our hand through the process and loves us the same no matter what we choose as long as we choose intimacy with Him.
This week has definitely not been what I expected, it was so much more !
