How He Loves Us

So far on the race I’ve shared all the joy, beauty, fun, and
exciting things about being on the World Race. Many times the missionary life
is perceived as all fun and games. At least that’s what I thought, but I’ve
discovered that the missionary life is tough at times. Don’t get me wrong, I
absolutely love this lifestyle, but this month has been rough for me. I’ve
struggled the most I have on this race.

 After arriving in Bangalore,
I woke up for a week straight in a bad mood. I initially thought it was because
I wasn’t sleeping well and blamed it on the rock hard pillow provided. But,
upon getting a softer pillow and more sleep, the bad mood continued. It would
take me an hour or two to get out of my funk. It was beyond frustrating because
I enjoy being joyful…that’s who I am. I found myself getting frustrated at good
friends for stupid reasons and just being exhausted.

 I tried to just brush it off and move past it. But one night
my squad leader, Andrew, called me out on it and made me talk. Through conversation
with him, I admitted that I was struggling. I was running on empty. My tank was
depleting. I felt as though I was giving and giving either to ministry or
investing in people and I was getting nothing in return. I blamed it on not
getting the kind of love and encouragement I wanted from my teammates or the
other team we are with. But in reality, I was not spending enough intimate time
with God. I was not allowing Him to refill my tank. I was trying to get filled
by humans and they can’t fill me like God can. In our conversation Andrew
quoted a song to me that I’ve sung a million times on this trip, but it was so
real to me in that moment. It’s called “How He Loves Us” by John Mark McMillan.
Here are some of the lyrics…

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

God is jealous for us. He wants to spend time with us. He
wants to fill our fuel tank. He wants to love us. Love us outrageously. We have
to give Him the time to do that. No human will ever fill us the way that God
can. That was a hard lesson for me to learn this month and I had to go through
a rough patch. A patch of brokenness, but God doesn’t care. He still loves us.
The chorus of the song is simple it goes…

He loves us.

Oh how He loves us.

Oh how He loves us.

Oh how He loves.

Simple. Basic. Truth.
Good stuff.