A bunch of us were waiting at the airport for our flights on the last day and in a moment, I looked over and saw a baby boy being held by his dad. Every time his little face collided with the face of his father, unspeakable joy exploded on his face like a firework. It was pure radiance, almost like you could grab it with your hands, playing with it like glitter gold.
It was like I could hear Holy Spirit whispering into my heart, "There it is." There it is. It is the picture of what Papa wants to do in my life: revealing His radiance, giving me His joy, bringing me back to the place where the only place I am looking are into His eyes. That's where I am defined.
Training camp was messy and if it was a story, it would have been written both my tears and my syllables of laughter. It was like it sprung up on me and pulled things out of me that I had no idea were still hanging out in there; both fears and bravery, questions and songs of the heart. And it taught me that no matter how well you hide brokenness, it doesn't make brokenness disappear.
There are lots I could share about the week and in someways, I honestly think I am still processing it so instead, I am just going to share a moment. I love moments because it is sometimes the littlest of moments that change our lives.
There was a word that followed me everywhere I went at training camp. In fact, I think I was given the exact same word four times and let's be real, that feels like a lot over six days. Over and over again people felt like the Lord wanted me to know how beautiful I was and to be confident in it; to walk in my beauty, to know my worth.
Do you know how much that moves and heals my little heart? Because somewhere along the line I bought into the lie that to be beautiful was dangerous. Too dangerous.
In my very name is written the phrase "ashes to beauty." (Ashley Beaudin). You know, sometimes it is easier to stay inside and identify with the ashes. And some days beauty still feels dangerous to me like it makes me a target, or as if beauty equates to the exact opposite of worth.
And it is almost as if every time someone calls my name, I would become aware of my ashes. And through the entire week, the Lord began redeeming my name for me.
So that as those words of beauty crashed over me like a wave that cannot be escaped or said no to, I let them. I let them wash over me and take course. I let them tackle every lie to the ground and write the truth in glory. I let them tell me about who I am and who I am not. I let them remind me that my ashes aren't ashes, my ashes are beauty.
And like a little girl who just stands before the ocean and let's it overwhelm her, I did too. Because that thing that screams out in my core when I feel overwhelmed to RUN and run now needed to quiet down. In Him, I am safe and overwhelming doesn't mean I am unsafe. His love is overwhelming. His grace is overwhelming. His affection is overwhelming.
He overwhelms me because He loves me. I choose Him. I choose His overwhelming. When I choose His overwhelming, the situations of life cannot overwhelm me. I am already overwhelmed.
Choose into His overwhelming love today. Choose into the crashing of His grace over you. Choose into Him redeeming your name.
Choose in.
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