Several months ago I posted a blog called “Chronicles of an Adventurer Part 1.” If I had followed through on my intentions, part 2 would have followed immediately, and you all wouldn’t have been so confused about that title. Summary: an adventure with Jesus does not have to be this wild excursion you embark on, but it’s just doing life with Jesus where you are on a daily basis.
(Here comes the part I would normally conceal behind this computer screen). I wrote that blog because I was convicted by the Holy Spirit about an evangelism deficit in my life. In my four years at Cedarville, I have failed miserably in being intentional with sharing the gospel with others. After committing to go on the World Race, I realized that it is ridiculous for me to ask people to financially and prayerfully support me to go to foreign countries and preach Jesus Christ when I am not even doing that in my own neighborhood. With that other blog, I was committing myself publicly to start leaving margin in my life to evangelize. Part 2, in which I planned to share about one of my experiences evangelizing, was supposed to show up a week or two later.
(Now here is the part I really want to bury in a dark hole). I failed. I had various good intentions, ambitions, and plans, but somehow those never evolved into action. My heart broke with my failure. The more I seemed to flex my spiritual muscles and determine to share the gospel in my own strength, the less I relied on the Spirit or prayed for divine opportunities.
And then, one weekend in April my sister and I went with some friends to a Reds game. As we walked across the expansive bridge in Cincinnati, we noticed several homeless people huddled on the ground, wielding cardboard signs and pleas for help. My skepticism outweighed my compassion.
I kept walking.
I could hear everything I had learned from Poverty Weekend ricocheting in my heart, but my lack of practicing dependence on the Spirit – AKA pride – caused me to ignore them. I was here to enjoy a baseball game, not feel uncomfortable talking to homeless people.
Jess and I ended up leaving the game early, and on our walk back to the car we passed more homeless people. I could feel the Spirit stirring my heart, and the more people I passed, the more guilty I felt. Right after passing the third man on the bridge, this thought smacked me across the face: I just ignored Jesus. To make it worse, Jess commented, “I do have a granola bar.”
I halted in my tracks, debating. What if that man is just posing as a homeless person? I can’t actually do anything to meet his physical needs if they are real anyway. I just want to go back to Cedarville and forget all about this. But… what if he really is homeless? What if I just passed Jesus? The least I can do is make him feel like a human being…
Jess and I prayed right there on the bridge, my heart pounding furiously. We confessed our fear to God, our hesitancy, and asked Him to give us the words and boldness we needed. We turned ourselves around and marched right back to the bearded man we had just passed.
We exchanged introductions, and I reached out my hand to shake his. We got to ask him questions about why he was there, if he had family, and what his story was. I was out of my element, but it didn’t matter, because Jesus was in me.
I don’t have an incredible ending to share with you about how he miraculously accepted Christ after we talked with him. In fact, right as I was asking if we could pray with him, another man on a bike came up and started interrupting us and telling us to move on so he could collect money from people coming. I was fighting irritation. And honestly, I was probably fighting something even more serious… spiritual warfare. We offered him our granola bars, which he took, and as soon as he was out of earshot we both prayed for him.
No, that interaction did not go as I envisioned. No, we didn’t get to share Jesus with him or pray with him. But did we obey God? Absolutely.
As uncomfortable as that experience was for me, it was huge for my walk with God. For the first time in ages, I had completely relied on God. We got to make that man feel like a human being and extend kindness and love to him.
I confess to you that in my human nature, I always want to present myself as a finished and polished product. But as a broken person being made new day by day through Jesus’ grace, I am just a draft in progress. I need Jesus to make a lot of revisions in my life, and it will take the rest of my life until I reach eternity to get there. But I hope that this post encourages you that you are not alone in your failures to obey God. As humans, it is a legitimate struggle. But in community, we can hold each other accountable through honesty and confession to obey Him. He wants to see you surrender your brokenness to Him, and allow Him to work in and through you as you embark on your daily adventure with Him. His mercies are new every morning. I am ready, in His strength, to try again.
Prayer requests: Please continue to pray for my fundraising! I have about $12,000 more to raise. Please also start praying for the team I will be put with: that God would create a team who balances each others strengths and weaknesses, that we would be flexible and filled with the Spirit, and that we would all be Jesus lovers!
EXCITING NEWS! I am selling an album that some friends helped me to create in order to raise money! It is finally available! You can get it online or purchase a physical copy.
Online instructions: I am asking for a minimum $10 donation for the online downloads of my songs. You can send the money to me through PayPal (which is preferable) using this email address: [email protected] , or you can mail me a check: 1403 Keener Rd. Bainbridge, PA 17502. I will share a Google Drive folder with you once I receive the money and you can download the songs from there (this is the only way to get all of the profit from it!)
Physical Copy instructions: Since this costs more to produce, I am asking a minimum $12 donation for this. You can pay through PayPal here as well using the same email as above, or give me cash. If you do not live near me and need it mailed, I may ask for an extra dollar or two to cover shipping. If you are buying a physical copy, please sign up on this Google Doc so that I can keep track of payment methods and getting the EP to you:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1iX2nzziZ12foOZ_jrAX0Cf7eWhOGmBeu5xQXvgFwRm8/edit#gid=0
