Tonight I don’t know what to write. I read my bible and have been in prayer with God for part of the day but all I feel like writing right now is how I cant wait for these 40 days to be over.
Don’t get me wrong God has provided so many blessing for me and I have thanked him over and over again. He has also asked me to open up some of my dark spots in my heart. He is asking me to be stronger and braver then I think I can be. And he is doing all of this while I am still in pain from being freakin hurt. my muscle spasms have come back in full force. like the kind that takes your breath away and you feel like your going to have a heart attack because you are having a slight panic attack. ITs hard enough having to go through all these spiritual struggles when your feeling fine but to do it while your in pain is a whole other level of craziness. so tonight I am mad that i am not freakin healed yet.
God didn’t say it would be easy. but god also says its okay to feel the way your feeling. people please always remember we are HUMAN. God gave us all these emotions, so for tonight I will feel everyone of them. tomorrow morning I will sit down with God and go over them in a civil manner. but until then, let the yelling begin.
