Tomorrow. Thats all we have left of this long awaited count down. I’ve said most goodbyes but the really had ones come this weekend… but we’re not talking about that so stop bringing it up..
But it just barely occurred to me that I haven’t said goodbye to my room.
I have spent countless hours in this tiny room. It has become my biggest comfort zone. From my endless amounts of naps, naps with my cat as well, hidden snacks, my personal lip sync battles into the mirror, decorating the walls over and over again, slamming the door angrily at my family, throwing myself onto my bed in tears or from being tired all the time, down time, the piles of clothes and random objects because cleaning isn’t my strong point but always keeping a path to my bed to keep my mom semi happy. To the never ending nights of last minute papers, Netflix, music, and kinda reading. But also to the sleepless nights, anxiety attacks, being sick, loud thunderstorms, and the monsters underneath my bed.
This room knows me better than I know myself. But silly girl it’s just a room. Just four walls with just a window to look out into the big and scary world. If I didn’t like what the world had to offer all I had to do was close the blinds and shut the curtains. And if the world was being extra scary that day I could easily hide underneath the covers, sleep and once I wake up everything would be better. However, if the world was being extra beautiful that day I could open the window wide and let the world enter my safe place.
When I was little I always knew that these walls would fall down. That there would no longer be a piece of glass separating me from the rest of the world.
But here we are. 18 years later and it’s time to say goodbye to the safest space I have ever known. But rather look to God for comfort. He has called me on this trip and no matter how hard it gets I can run to him and not the comfort of my bed.
So goodbye not to the memories but to the comforts and fears of that girl hidden inside the four walls. I will miss the safety of this room but I will no longer need it. God has me now and I will never be alone.
John 14:27
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Psalm 61:2
“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
