I’ve spent the past few days trying, hopelessly, to write this blog post. Recently, a friend challenged me to be more realistic concerning the difficulties to come while on the World Race. I took that challenge as, “admit your fears,” and I’ve literally been wracking my brain to find them.
I don’t say this to get bravery points or to seem like a big shot; I’m not a worrier. Probably at least once a week, I tell my grandma, “What’s the use in worrying? Just pray about [whatever is bothering her] and let it be.” That is sincerely my general mindset. Though I struggle with this concept, I remind myself as often as possible that I’m not in control.
With that in mind, I’ve adopted an incredible peace concerning the World Race. I’m not naïve. Since before I committed to my acceptance for the program, I’ve been madly researching each country I will serve in. The nearly unlimited selection of disease or ailment that I could contract doesn’t go unnoticed. I’m not walking blindly into poverty stricken areas expecting a red carpet to be laid out before me just for showing up. I’ve read about crimes of theft, malice, hatred… Thank God I’ve never experienced any of this, but at the same time, I’m preparing daily to do so. And should the “worst” come to be, I’ve resigned to believe that it will be because I am following THE plan that God has laid out for my life.
I’m typically happy-go-lucky. So whatever I might face while I’m serving in this ministry, I’m going to make the best of it. I believe that God expects us to prepare ourselves, to study, to continually grow and develop, and more than anything, to trust Him. Because I believe and do these things, I sincerely don’t have expectations about what the World Race will bring. I want to walk into every day of this experience with an open mind. I want to learn. I want my world to be rocked in ways that I can’t imagine because I haven’t seen anything like what I’m going to see. I’m blessed to have grown up in the community I am proud of, to rely on a family that would do anything for me, to have friends that I will constantly put first and to have never had to live through many of the hardships that I’m soon to see and know. But I believe that I will be all the more blessed and happy when I live day-to-day without every convenience I’ve always known, without a need to impress or live up to mans’ standards, and without anyone but God to call on when I’m homesick or scared or ill.
It’s not that I’m not scared. I HATE bugs. I have a crummy immune system and a stomach that aches at the drop of a hat. I’ve been homesick more times than I can count. But I’m going to be okay because I know who is in control. I’m going to have faith because there is a wealth of people committed to praying for me. I’m going to keep being happy because that’s me and that’s all I know how to do.
Be Blessed,
Ashlee
PS While searching for scripture to help me understand why I don't worry more, I ran across Matt. 6:27 (Thanks to a fellow Sr2 World Racer): "Whom, by worrying, can add one hour to his life?" But I'm also an avid fan of YouTube and when I used relative keywords for this… I also got a good kick out of this video that came up!
