I met my best friend, Celeste, when we were high school juniors representing our rival alma maters during a regional FFA competition. A few months later, we found ourselves teammates with the charge of representing that unifying region for the coming year. After seven years full of life – graduations, breakups, movie nights, switching colleges (both of us), late night gab fests, plenty of hard work, marriage (her’s not mine!), babies (also her’s!) and who even remembers what else – we’ve suddenly found ourselves adults, still friends, and somehow managing to strengthen our bond throughout the months I’ve been gone on the Race. While serving subsequent years as Kentucky FFA State Officers (she was State Secretary in 07-08 and I was State Reporter in 08-09) we maintained one mantra: “Friend first. State Officer second.” Though at times during those years we were incredibly busy, we vowed to never be too preoccupied to pour into our friendship. We have viewed The World Race with much the same approach. Celeste, along with her husband and my favorite baby in the world, has been one of my most incredible supporters throughout this journey – she even wrote me a Bon Voyage blog on her own site (check it out: Bon Voyage, Castle) A few weeks ago, I asked Celeste to write about her experience, having a close friend take part in the Race and watching all that has transpired – basically – from behind her computer screen. Enjoy her thoughts!
Celeste and I just a few weeks before I left on The World Race.
When my friend Ashlee set out on this journey, I didn’t know how we would make it through 11 months apart. My daughter was just 4 months old and all I could think about was how much my life was going to change while Ashlee was gone and wonder if we could ever pick back up where we had left off.
Instead, we both committed ourselves to not letting the World Race get in the way of our friendship. We found ways to stay connected and share our lives with each other even though we were thousands of miles apart. It wasn’t easy but we have almost made it and we’re closer friends than ever! Hopefully, my experience as the friend that got left behind can help you, too.
1. Send emails, and lots of them.
When Ashlee left I was still getting up every few hours at night to feed my daughter. While the baby ate, I would type Ashlee emails from my iPhone. Sometimes they were about important news from home, but usually I told her about the seemingly boring things that were going on in my life.
One time I sent her an entire email telling her about making my first batch of homemade baby food. As boring as that was, she absolutely loved to hear about what was happening in my life. These were the same things we’d be texting about if she was at home, so why should that stop just because she was on the Race?
90% of the emails though, were photos or videos of my daughter. Not professional photos, not exceptionally amazing photos, just every day moments captured on my iPhone. I didn’t want Ashlee to miss her splashing in the bathtub or her learning to crawl or getting mashed potatoes all over her head instead of in her mouth.
When she starts feeling homesick, I know that Ashlee has a stash of adorable baby videos to make her smile and remind her that we love and miss her.
2. Ask your missionary to pray for you.
At first, I felt silly asking Ashlee to pray for me. I was living a very blessed life in the states, with a healthy daughter and hard-working husband who provides for our every need, while she was living in communities with no running water and starving children. What could I possibly “need” more than those people?
Late one night, in the midst of another sleep deprived mom-moment I sent her an email asking for prayers for my miserable, teething baby. She responded not only with prayers, but with an email thanking me for the prayer request and telling me how much she loved praying for friends and family at home.
I don’t hold back on the prayer requests anymore. Now, when I need to pass along a prayer request Ashlee is the first person I contact because her whole team is ready to throw down some prayers at a moment’s notice. I can’t even explain how comforting it is to know that they are all praying for me and my family.
Prayer is a two way street. We pray for “Miss Castle” every night before my daughter goes to bed, it only makes sense that she should pray for us too. It definitely helps me feel closer to Ashlee, even though she’s thousands of miles away.
3. Allow the World Race experience to enhance your relationship.
I can honestly say that Ashlee and I are closer friends now than we were when she left. While I loved our sushi nights and road trips, those things sometimes got in the way of real conversations and heart to hearts.
We seldom talked about our faith. Now that she’s half a world away, we don’t waste time on gossip and the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve poured out my worries, stresses and insecurities into emails and she’s done the same.
She’s helped me to realize that my “boring mom life” presents many opportunities to share God’s love with others in ways that she, even as a full-time missionary, can’t do. I’ve been a “listening” ear when she shares the triumphs and frustrations of life as a missionary and her desire to grow as much as she can during her race.
Eleven months is a long time. It has not been easy and God knows I sure do miss her but I am still very thankful that He sent Ashlee on the World Race. He not only changed her life but our friendship too. (Not to mention all the people who have encountered Christ through the work Ashlee and her team have been doing!) Hopefully if you take a little of my advice and put a lot of trust in God’s plan, you and your missionary will make the most of their time on the Race too.
I love this beautiful family and couldn't feel more blessed to have had their support throughout my time on The World Race. Anticipating big hugs in a couple months, though I'm not sure who I'll head for, first! 😉
Be Blessed,
Ashlee (and Celeste!)
