“You play with me?” Every night after dinner at the children’s home, I’m approached by multiple sets of hands, each holding out a deck of UNO cards or a boxed game set I’ve not yet learned the concept of.
These kids are masters at UNO (masters at cheating, sometimes) and they love teaching us how to say the colors in Thai.
“You teach me?” Still, more hands extend workbooks filled with Algebra problems or English phrases to be practiced.
My Squad-mate Jessica getting her nightly "Fun" hair style. The girls like singing praise songs while they work!
“You come with me?” Hands reach for mine, tugging on me to follow them toward the playground or a nearby mat where they huddle around one guitar and sing songs of praise into the impending nightfall.
Bowing after the first dance performance (we learned the routine as it happened!)
One of my favorite World Race quotes: "I'll play, but don't think I'm going easy on you just becausy you're short." -Becky Coleman
Their childlike desires for attention can at times seem unrelenting, and if I’m not careful, I can become easily drained with the pressure to spend equal time with every precious boy or girl. How am I supposed to pass out 50+ hugs, smile affectionately into each set of eyes, hold every hand and play every game? More importantly, how can I assure each child that adults can be trusted, that they do not have to live in fear of being sold into sex slavery, that they are loved and will continue to be cared for? And most important, how am I supposed to devote equal attention to sharing Jesus with each of them?
One thing that always impresses me, however, is their incredible willingness to share. No matter how many people are already playing UNO, there is always room to add another competitor. It’s always okay to slide over and make room for another friend on the mat. Laps have two legs, so they must be made for more than one child. Even the sleeping arrangements attest to their giving nature; kids literally have to crawl over one another’s beds, weaving through a maze of mattresses and metal in order to reach their own. And they’re okay with it!
Some of the sincerest sweetness I've ever known is wrapped up in this photo! Laura is a kid-magnet, but she is so good at loving them, it's easy to see why!
I could learn a thing or two from these sweet babies. It would do me good to recognize that affection can be shared. For a long time, I’ve struggled with jealousy in my relationships. If I become friends with someone and we begin to grow close, it’s hard for me to ever watch them strike up a friendship with someone else. I feel taken away from, less valued or forgotten when all of the attention suddenly isn’t on me. It’s not something I particularly like about myself, but it’s reality.
The thing is, humans are imperfect. No matter how hard I try, I can never manage to “cover” every girl and boy at the children’s home. (Good thing there are 12 of us tackling this task!) Even if I could do it alone, I would be spread so thin that no child would get their deserved amount of attention, affection or LOVE! The same is true for those people in my life that I rely on. It’s unfair of me to expect anyone to devote 100% of themselves to their relationship with me; it’s an impossible expectation. It’s likewise bad form to deny anyone the excitement and growth brought on through new relationships.
Cue Jesus. How incredible is it that we do have ONE friend who has this whole thing figured out. No matter how many of us are struggling, needing a friend to just be with us, wanting Him to look at us or notice what we’re up, begging for affection or looking for love, there is more than enough of Him to go around. Everyone gets an equal portion.
While He continues to work on my issues with jealousy, God is revealing to me how jealous He is for my affections toward Him. Each day I’m convicted to lay down “idols,” –anything blocking me from serving or worshiping Him in the way that we are meant to (with all our hearts, all our souls and all our minds.) Its wonderful to be desired that much!
Be Blessed,
Ashlee
