As we drew nearer and nearer to the culmination of the World Race, my teammate, Elizabeth, began compiling a list of “World Race Secrets,” – more or less a humorous montage of plenty of wild and crazy things she (and admittedly, I) wound up doing throughout our eleven month trek around the globe. I’m still anxiously waiting for her to complete and post the list as a blog (I promise, you’ll laugh til it hurts!), but in the mean time, I realized that there are ootles of stories and events that I simply never got the chance to share! I’m looking forward to the numerous upcoming opportunities I’ve been given to speak about my experiences on the Race, to introduce my friends and family to incredible people I’m blessed to have come to know and to tell anyone who will listen about all that God is doing around the world!
Until then, enjoy these snippets (err… confessions) from my most phenomenal journey, to date!
1. I was FORCED to break and enter…
While in the Dominican Republic, my team was part of an ALL-NIGHT public Bible reading – I read Romans aloud, in Spanish! Somewhere around 8:00 PM, we six Americanas were starving, so we slipped away to a small restaurant nearby for some yummy ham sandwiches and even yummier jugo (a juice/milk mixture that we all loved!) Supper downed, we headed back toward the park where we had been reading, when it hit us that there were no public restrooms… and let’s just say, the jugo had hit! We made a break for our contact’s house, but upon arriving, we realized that the gates and doors were locked! By this time, several girls were nearing the point of pain, and it was clear that our options were limited. Left with no other alternative, I gingerly climbed over their security fence (sorry Raul!) avoiding the spikes and managed to let the rest of the girls inside the “yard.” We thankfully discovered we were in luck and the outside bedroom/bathroom had been left unlocked, but after all six of us finished our task, I wound up having lock myself inside the gate and climb out again!
The Dunamisses on the night of Bible Reading and Breaking/Entering. Month One.
2. Outhouses are great places to pout…
As you may remember, while in Haiti, I lived in a teensy house, crammed full with 19 women! Having so many people around made “quiet time” more a wishful thought than a much needed reality, so my team opted to declare a “Day of Silence,” that would allow us to spend quality time with the Lord without interruption. Sounds great, in theory, right? Confession: I was NOT a happy camper about taking part in this! I felt all kinds of false pressure to keep my trap shut, ignore my friends and return to my team with phenomenal revelations from God. I stomped around through breakfast and when we finally began the silence, I was the world’s biggest grouch. Wanting nothing to do with ANYONE, I skulked to the back of the property and sat inside the outhouse (it was the only shade I could find!), where I proceeded to journal about how ridiculous this whole thing was. Fortunately, after I got over my tirade and “quieted” down, the Lord did have plenty of things to say to me – six journal pages later, I was in a far better mood! (After that, I took to Days of Silence like deer to a saltlick!)
3. Death by Songtail almost happened…
In Thailand, our main mode of transportation involved 12+ women piling into the bed of an S10, covered and filled with two or three benches, and hanging on to overhead bars (or one another) for dear life. We rarely fit the same way twice, and while we were warned against this, there was almost ALWAYS someone sitting on the back tailgate with two or three fellow Racers death-gripping them as we drove. We prayed over these rides, a lot! On one particular venture, the bed was loaded down with luggage and there was only room for a two passengers, seated at the very end of the bed, next to the tailgate. I rode on one side, while my teammate, Karen, rode across from me. Thinking myself accustomed to the winding roads and frequent speed changes, I got deep into conversation with Karen and didn’t notice a particularly gnarly curve! We’re still not certain what combination of steering, braking and acceleration caused this, but at one point, I found myself airborne, three feet ABOVE my seat and nearly catapulting out the open back of the truck!
4. Christmas Caroling can be a marathon event…
Around 1:00 PM on a Saturday afternoon, Liz, Kirby, Shelli and I loaded into the church van and headed out on a Caroling adventure. First stop – a house nearly an hour away! While en route, on Malaysia’s version of an interstate, traveling around 120km/hr, a rock shattered the church van’s windshield! We proceeded to file out of the van, stood on the side of the highway and waited for alternate transportation. Three hours later, our merry band of carolers had only managed to visit one house! Throughout the course of the night, we stopped at approximately twenty homes, and at each we were expected to partake of a “snack” (more like a meal!) after singing carols in Malay! By the end of the venture – somewhere around 1:30 AM – we were tired, slightly delirious, and a little bit nauseous, but Kirby kept our spirits high with her awesome Rap skills, and clearly we lived to tell the tale!
About an hour into our Caroling venture, waiting on the side of the road for transpo. Month Four
5. Things get interesting when you run out of toilet paper…
Number One Rule of the International Road – NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT YOUR OWN PERSONAL ROLL OF TP! Mistake made. While doing home visits one afternoon in Cambodia, Karen, Monica and I had the unbelievable chance to sit and talk with the mother and grandmother of a six-day-old baby boy! Of course, we also oohed and aahed over the baby every other second! Now, just to paint the scene, we were in a rural, dirt road only, Cambodian village. Most of the homes resembled tiny tree-house-like structures, raised at least five feet off the ground, and they all basically had only one room. To this day, I’m still not certain where people in this village go to the bathroom, and truth be told I probably don’t want to know. At the time, between all the oohing and aahing and sharing about Jesus, all I knew was that suddenly, I had to go, in the extreme sense! (Cambodian food took a little time to get used to!) My translator and host, Nari, explained to a friend of hers from the village, and I was led a fair distance, through twists and turns, until finally we reached one of the only concrete homes I’d seen the entire month. The friend explained the situation to the owner of the home, and graciously, I was pointed down a narrow passage to one of the nicer “squatty potties” I’ve had the pleasure of using. (Squatty potty = hole in ground, over which you hover and pray your aim is good!) By this time, I was in dire straights, and well… you know. It wasn’t until too late to do anything about it that I frantically recognized the lack of TP! At home this is no big deal. One just “hollers” for someone to come to their rescue. Alas, “hollering” in English while in the middle of a Cambodian village doesn’t do much good. Needless to say… you can’t, and probably don’t want to, imagine the things I’ve done…
Karen and Monica hanging out with our six-day-old friend! Month Five.
6. Mike Rowe isn’t the only one with a dirty job…
One afternoon in Tanzania, I was lounging in our house (one of four in our compound) when my teammate, Liz, burst into our bedroom in a near state of panic. I was rapidly informed that her entire container of Stridex face wipes had somehow managed to slide into our squatty-potty. For sake of setting the scene – that month’s squatty potty was conveniently located in the middle of the shower stall. Talk about multi-purpose. Alas, while the plumbing in this establishment was far more advanced than most of what we used, and flushing was an appreciated option most of the time, we knew that flushing this problem would likely ruin the entire septic system. Seeing no alternative (or a glove) I did what I had to do and went shoulder deep into a squatty potty to retrieve the container (which required some impressive maneuvering if I do say so myself!) I’m not sure if Liz used the rest of those wipes or not…
Realizing that 11 months is a long time… check out "Part Two" to read confessions from the second half of my Race!
Be Blessed,
Ashlee
