I told my testimony to my new all girl team the other day. It was awesome because it wasn’t the “I grew up in a christian home, went to an amazing collage and have always just loved the Lord with all my heart.” Though, that is true, I was able to be vulnerable and real in a whole new way. It was the “my family has it’s share of imperfections, my collage years were stressful and hard, and I’ve gone through my share of pain, but God is so good in his faithfulness,” type of testimony where I was able to share about the brokenness I’ve been through.
Looking back on the things in life that seemed to be the hardest and darkest, they were the times that I was so close to God and completely felt covered in His love. In my brokenness, I really can say that God was always there to meet me in my struggles. It’s really just gives me so much faith, trust, and confidence that the Lord will always meet me where I am. I don’t have to read stories about it or hope for it, I can firsthand attest to it. He has no doubt been there for me in real life.
I guess it just sheds light that brokenness isn’t all that bad. I mean, in those moments I could feel God show up and just carry me through it. After all, that is what we want right? We want God to build us up. We want more and more of him. Having God be our strength isn’t a bad thing. Finding God show up when we feel like we can’t go on is a good thing.
So here is to less of me and more of you Father. Bring on the brokenness. It’s looking less and less scary. I know you’ll never leave me. You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Troubles chasing me again,
Breaking down my best defence,
I’m looking, God, I’m looking for you
Weary just won’t let me rest and fear is filling up my head.
I’m longing, God I’m longing for you
But I will find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees.
So what if sorrow shakes my faith,
What if heartache still remains,
I’ll trust you, my god I’ll trust you.
Cause you are faithful and
I will find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees, my knees.
When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong
When the pain is real, when it’s hard to heal
When my faith is shaken and my heart is broken and my joy is stolen, God I know that
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
Find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees.
~Kari Jobe
Caitlyn, thank you so much for your continued encouragement, prayers and e-mails. I love you girl!
