FEEDBACK.
One of the biggest parts of AIM culture is community+feedback. Community living is HARD. By committing to being a part of community, you’re committing to being a part of open, honest feedback and being able to give and receive hard words in love.
Let me clarify, it’s not only saying the hard things. Feedback is about calling people into greatness, to help them look more like Jesus. It’s encouraging people to continue to walk in areas they’re already Christ-like in, and pointing out the areas where one could stand to grow. It’s not nit-picking about little personality quirks, but in love, telling someone how they can become more Christ-like. We all have areas in which we need to grow.
Three years ago, when I went on my first trip with AIM I was not too excited about this idea of feedback. The idea of bearing it all to random people and then allowing them to speak into my life, even when it hurts, was terrifying. I didn’t always have the best experiences with it.
This past summer, I was on my third trip with AIM, leading a Passport team of 10 awesome women to Swaziland. At this point, I was pretty comfortable with idea of feedback, but the thought of receiving it still made me cringe.
There was a girl on my team named Molly, and her and I clicked instantly. She is one of the wisest, kindest and most honest people I have ever met in my life. We quickly grew close, and she became a huge support to me, as leading on your own can be stressful at times. Molly loved me, and I knew it. I could tell every time she spoke to me, but more importantly, through her actions.
(Me+Molly)
Love is the biggest key to feedback. If you say some tough things to me, but I don’t think/know you love me, it’s received in a different way.
Molly was willing to speak truth to me, even when it was hard. She would point things out that I didn’t even realize I was doing. She challenged me to go to the Lord and figure out the root cause of some of my character flaws. But in it all, never once did I feel attacked, looked down upon, or put down. I knew that because Molly loved me, she only wanted to see me become more Christ-like, so she was willing to speak hard words that others were scared of. Through it all, I felt safe and loved, and it strengthened our friendship.
I grew more spiritually in two months than I had in the past five years of my journey with the Lord. I was able to work through some things that I thought I had moved on from. I became aware of things that I didn’t know were an issue. I experienced FREEDOM because ugly chains of sin and darkness were brought to light, unlocked and dropped to the ground.
I have a long way to go, but I would be miles behind where I am now if my friend wasn’t bold enough to speak truth into my life.
Hear me out here – it can be a scary thing, but if you can find someone who is willing to go into the trenches with you, who will accept you for the broken mess that you are, speak the hard words to you in love, challenge you to be the best you can be and is NOT willing to to see you stay where you are, keep them around. God gives us those people for a special purpose. Don’t take it for granted.
