Growing up we didn’t have a lot of money. My dad had on and off again jobs, and even though he was a really hard worker with great work ethics his priorities were not his job but his next fix. Then there was my mom, she was a devoted mother and often worked more then one job to make sure we had food on the table. Our family was really supportive and we always had what we needed but that thought process of not having always plagued my mind as a kid. We always had. We had a roof over our heads. We had clean water. We had food to eat. Through all that was provided the “NOT ENOUGH” lingered.
Still, God always provided and He still does.
It has been really awesome to see God provide in my life. When I was a kid and wanted to go to camp, God provided people to partner and send me to camp. The very camp where God first called me to missions, someone sponsored me to go. When I was in high school God provided people to partner and send me to my first mission trips. The very mission trips that sealed the calling in my life and gave me a passion to serve God. When I was in my early twenties God provided a pastor to partner with me and train me in ministry. The very ministry that began to shape my passion and calling for children’s ministry. When I was in my mid twenties God provided a woman who made an appointment with the doctors. The very appointment where the doctors found cancer in my body and took steps to cut it out so that I could do what God had called me to do. In my late twenties God provided a church and a team to partner with the calling God had placed on my life to stretch me. The very church that had a kingdom mindset to pass me off to my next appointment, THE WORLD RACE.
God provides and he often uses people in that providing process.
The other day while I was sitting with our creative pastor and talking about my next God season, anxiety slipped out of my mouth about God providing for THE WORLD RACE. All of a sudden, all of the “NOT ENOUGH” lingered back. I began to look at the process of God providing through my own human perspective and I became overwhelmed with what I needed. I started looking at what I needed in my own strength. Then I was reminded of Philippians 4:6-7:
“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”
As that anxiety was trying to creep in and this scripture was filling my heart about God’s provision, our creative pastor gave me an object lesson, a visual of provision. He took a dollar out of his wallet, made a comment about defacing US treasury and wrote:
FOR ASHLEY’S ADVENTURE
It is a reminder of all that God has already provided for my life. It is a reminder that God is not done providing. It is a reminder that God is going to partner people to the adventure HE has called me to, an adventure that will reach many for Jesus.
I can’t see the provision yet, BUT I know God will provide.
“God will often send you the gift of greater faith wrapped in a package that looks like your greatest fear.”
– Steven Furtick
