“The greatness of Man’s power is the measure of his surrender.”
– William Booth
Death to self is a hard and ongoing lesson to learn. Putting others before ourselves, serving their needs before acting on our desires is never something that is automatically engraved in us. Then there is the lesson of living out God’s desires before our own, being synced with HIM means letting HIM do in our lives what HE deems best.
I have been rediscovering the constant and ongoing struggle to die to self and through that God continues to break my heart. This breaking is not malicious but a loving reminder that there are things that I didn’t even know where in my own heart.
It’s like the picture of the shepherd. He tenderly watches over his sheep. He corrals them and shows them which way to go. He makes sure they are fed and taken care of. The shepherd keeps them safe from on looking predators and protects them at all cost. But when the lambs wander off, the shepherd breaks their legs then sets them around his neck to reset the lamb’s legs. In this process the lamb begins to trust the shepherd and know his ways. In the end the lamb is not only completely healed but knows and trusts the shepherd in ways like never before.
I think that is like you and I when God breaks our heart.
“Brokenness is what happens when something amiss is exposed and requires change. The change was needed all along; you just didn’t realize it. The broken behavior or the broken way of thinking was already in you; it was just not a place where you saw it in a negative light.”
-Kingdom Journeys: Seth Barnes
We feel our shepherd’s heartbeat as He carries us through the mess of our lives and shows us which way to go. As we rest on his shoulders, I envision you and I, hearing his voice and learning to go to those places with HIM that we can only go when we are in a place of vulnerability.
When we allow God into the deep places of our lives, even if that place brings breaking, we will go to a new place of intimacy with him. When we are broken we realize our deep need for Him. When we are broken we come to him constantly as our source. When we are broken we realize our deeper need for him and in a new way.
In my current case of brokenness I realized I had multiple layers of pride in my life. God showed me pictures of where I was trying to preform or do things on my own. As God took me to those ugliest of ugly places in my heart that I didn’t even know existed, He gently broke me so He could reset my life. He showed me that I was living in the good, but I could live in His best when I become raw and totally depend on His plans (FOR REALS.)
“Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally!”
(The Message, 2 Corinthians 1:8-11, GO READ IT!)
“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat- I AM. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how.”
(The Message, Luke 9:23-27, GO READ IT!)
God spoke to me,
“When you are not focused on a ‘FLAWLESS PREFORMANCE’ and instead coming to me in the raw allowing me to be your strength- you will see my power demonstrated in and through your life to bring glory to my kingdom.”
God breaks us so that we can be filled. He wants to take out the ugliest places in our hearts and replace His goodness. He wants to strip everything and show us our true self but most of all He wants to show us who he really is in the midst of the breaking. He is a good father who doesn’t want to leave us in our current condition but take us to places that we can only go to with him.
I pray today that God would speak to you and show you the things in your heart that need to be broken. I pray that as He shows you He would fill you. I pray that you would come closer to God then ever before.
Sending Love from Ecuador,
<3
Ash
#TeamAsh
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