On January 24th it was our first “Adventure Day” since starting the World Race. Some months, depending on the ministry or the amount of time we will be spending there, we will get one adventure day in addition to our Sabbath in order to have a chance to explore and enjoy the country we are in. Upon arriving in Indonesia me and my team had decided that one of our adventure days would be dedicated to visiting a volcano since the area we were in had one within a decent distance (and I mean who doesn’t want to see a volcano) .
Once ministry began we began to realize that it was quite easy to fill up our schedule (especially because the people in Indonesia were so eager to welcome us into their homes for meals or gatherings).
One weekend/Saturday we decided that our best shot at going to the volcano would have to be that day, but coincidentally we had also been invited to a circumcision party (yeah you read that correctly lol).
My heart was torn because the woman that had invited us to the party was someone that I had gotten to share the gospel with a few days prior.
The decision weighed on my heart heavily because I knew that going to the party could have been a good ministry opportunity, but I also had peace about my decision to go to the volcano.
We had been going pretty hard with ministry in the days leading up to this and I knew that I needed to do something to refresh and renew me, and I trusted that with the time we had left in Indonesia I would be able to go and see my friend again.
So on January 24th, to the Volcano we went, and it ended up being a wonderful day that was great for my soul.
The area was gorgeous and, when exploring, we “coincidentally” had one of the workers/ guards take us into a blocked off area of the volcano and embarked on a mini personal tour of the volcano grounds and to one of the old active craters.
When we were walking down there we came across a stretch of land that really caught my eye. I stopped and took this picture.
I took a lot of great pictures that day actually (or at least I think so)… The land was breathtaking and untouched by man.
It was pretty much like taking a step back in time (I think I said I felt like I was in Jurassic Park and waiting for a t-rex to pop out a good few times lol).
In the days that followed I wanted to post the pictures from this adventure, but I hesitated.
Hesitation
If I am being honest (which is my attempt here) ..I have been holding back in the posting arena overall. I have hesitated posting pictures on Instagram and Facebook for fear of giving off the impression that I am having too much fun.
Because I am very much still in the middle of fundraising and the main way that I feel that I still have an influence in doing that involves what I post, I have been running everything through a filter of *does this give a donation worthy impression*.
Most of my pictures to this point have been taken on travel days or off days because when we are working at ministry I don’t think about taking pictures until after the fact- hence the dilemma …Anyways, I digress.
Sadly, this filter has not only gone into my posting. God has slowly but surely been revealing to me how I live most of my life through a filter.… Questioning and over analyzing most of my thoughts…. questioning and over analyzing what I hear from the Lord and what people will think of it.
Coming onto the race I shared with some of you that the Lord had placed Isaiah 55:8-13 on my heart.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
10 “For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
12 “For you shall go out with joy,
And be led out with peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
And it shall be to the Lord for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”
This last month in Indonesia when I was nervous about sharing my story and the gospel with the same woman I mentioned above I had a beautiful moment of overwhelming peace where I felt the Lord telling me , “It’s not on you… My word does not go out void”.
Because of this, when it has come to very obviously sharing the gospel or encounters with people, I have had overwhelming peace with the Lord’s sovereignty and knowing these things to be true….but this last month and a half I felt the Lord very gently pushing me and calling me out on my hesitations and showing me how this truth applies to just LIFE in general.
The amount of times that I have hesitated or not shared something that the Lord has put on my heart, or that I have hesitated to act on something I feel that the Lord has told me to do are far too many.
Now these aren’t just casual like , “I’m cold” , or I’m hungry” thoughts.
I’m talking about the “You should go pray for that person“ or “you should go talk to them” , or “you should speak up and share this“ kind of thoughts …..
Admitting this makes me feel pretty silly when I think about it now …..
Silly because I KNOW that NOTHING is outside of His control, and if that is the case than there really is no pressure on ME in moments of doing things for Him.
As I have been thinking through this, I began to think about what one of our coaches told us in the week leading up to launch: “Get over yourselves”.
Now before you start to think that is harsh, the premise is that if I am questioning those thoughts, then I am giving myself credit for the thoughts or ideas that come into my mind.
Am I really that creative/selfless and original to come up with those thoughts on my own?
Let’s be real… probably not.
I could give myself some credit and say that maybe sometimes I am, but even if that was the case, what do I have to lose by sharing whatever?
When I am questioning whether or not to go talk to someone or share something with them I am kind of taking credit for that, not to mention that I am putting the pressure on myself when in reality… NEWS FLASH: It’s not about me; therefore, the pressure is not on me.
Faith does not equal risk when it comes to the Lord. If I am doing things for the Lord the pressure is not on me.
There is literally nothing that is outside of His control or His reach. He is able to use ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for His glory.
Now back to this picture:
On January 28th after a few days of wrestling with whether I should post a picture or not I finally posted that picture to Instagram and Facebook.
On February 19th I received this email:
“Hello Arlene! I first of all want to say that this might seem kinda crazy, but your decision to join the World Race has forever changed my life in an awesome way. A little backstory…I live in San Antonio and have been praying that God would show me where He wants me to serve in ministry for years. As I slept one day God showed me in a dream who He wanted me to serve in ministry (the poor and foreigner) but for months I prayed for the “where” He wanted me to do this. Fast forward about 4 months, I went to a Bethel worship night and during the worship God showed me a vision. He showed me the same vision as before, except this time after the first, I saw the “where.” Now all I could see is kinda hard to describe, I saw a vivid picture of dry cracked ground. I had no idea at the time what it meant, but put it in the back of my mind thinking I would pray about it later. After the concert I went to Whataburger with a few friends and when I walked in I recognized your mother and brother, who were in line behind me at the concert. I introduced myself and we struck up a conversation. We spoke about a lot of things but the conversation turned to your trip on the World Race. I thought it was awesome, and asked what your name was so I could be praying for you. Unfortunately I couldn’t understand her clearly with her accent and she instead typed your name out on her Facebook search to show me how to say it. She hit search and then it happened. The first photo I saw was the EXACT image I saw in the vision just hours earlier! I eagerly tried to explain the significance to her, but I think in my shock I did a terrible job at adequately explaining what just happened. I made sure to get the name of the organization you were in before she left and we said goodbye. After that I raced to my computer to see what this World Race was about and I immediately fell in love with it. Now, after weeks of prayer, counsel, applications, and interviews for the WR…I am going on the Route 1 trip leaving in October!! God is so amazing, I strongly felt I had to share with you just some of the impact your decision made on my life! I am praying for you and your squad. Please thank your mother as well for speaking with me, and becoming a HUGE part of my lifestory and God’s calling.”
Ummm What ?! ← That was my reaction after reading that email. Along with a lot of awe/ amazement and joy.
How awesome and creative is God to make that happen ( that was rhetorical ) … Now I could probably write a whole other blog about just this story specifically, or go into a lot of tangents about how incredible it is that the Lord used every little detail for this – from deciding to go to a volcano, to experiencing God’s favor and having someone take us into a locked off area of the volcano, to even finally deciding to post the picture… but I don’t think that I really need to 
.
This story was simply the sprinkles on top of my ice cream sundae (I would say cherry but I don’t like those gross fake red cherries lol) and what the Lord has been doing in my heart and life…Asking me to “just be” who He has created me to be, to trust Him and be confident in Him, and to know that He is confident in me; therefore, I can be confident to do whatever in His name.
To walk in radical obedience because He is worthy of my radical trust and the pressure is not on me.
“But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”
So this is my declaration of my new normal… of getting over myself and not hesitating.
Of radically trusting the Lord… of removing my filters.
My hope is that if you are reading this you would know this truth as well and experience and walk in that freedom. To know that we serve an awesome and incredible God that is ready to make all things work together for good. All we have to do is just trust Him and His sovereignty.
He’s got the rest.
******So in the spirit of not filtering I am going to throw out there that I have a 14,500 fundraising deadline coming up at the end of this month (4 days from now) and I am around $2,500 shy of that goal.
I am radically trusting that the Lord is going to come through… but I know that I also need to do my part, so I am humbling myself and letting you all know that.
If there is anything anyone back home wants to do to help me fundraise or if you want to donate you can do so through my blog by clicking on the “ support me” tab.
Also, I wanted to shout out to my brother in Christ, Andrew, who so graciously shared his story with me and was such a blessing in doing so … He will be heading out in October. Check out his page! 🙂
Also here are some of my volcano pics I hesitated to post. HA
Because when Humidity strikes… and Volcano SELFIE lol
X-STREAM TEAM!!!
