When I think about my why I think about my freshman year of college self. The anxious girl who was trapped being someone that she knew she really wasn’t. It was fall of 2015 when I went completely out of my comfort zone and decided to go to a fall retreat with my campus church. When I say completely out of my comfort zone I mean this was probably the first and only time I stayed in Michigan instead of going back to my hometown for the weekend. Little did I know this is where I’d meet some of my best friends and be one of my absolute favorite memories of my time at Eastern Michigan.
I vividly remember sitting at a table at the camp’s dining hall full of girls from my small group who I didn’t really know yet. Someone asked to go around the table and have everyone say what our dream jobs would be if money, our degrees, location, or anything didn’t matter. This wasn’t the first time I really thought about my “dream job” considering I was still an undecided major at this point trying to figure out my whole life. When it was my turn to answer I thought for awhile and quietly said “I don’t know, probably a missionary”. Truth is, I always had this far-fetched idea of being an international missionary in my heart. I’d see missionaries come speak at my church, read articles about missionaries around the world and just be in complete awe. You could say it was my “dream” but not one that I ever thought would come true.
Fast forward a couple months and the same anxious girl transferred home after a semester away at college. To this day I still can’t describe into words why I transferred. I met my very best friends there and learned a lot about life and myself but just knew for some reason I couldn’t stay there. I spent the next several months praying for God’s will to be done in my life. Cliche I know but going to Eastern was MY plan. After a rough couple of weeks of transferring and moving back home, I decided I was done trying to plan out my own life. I vividly remember praying the same exact prayer every single day. I gave all my own plans up, started fresh, told God whatever He wanted to do in me, I’m in. Fast forward a year and I transferred schools again and went on my first mission trip to Guatemala. World Wrecked. A couple more trips to Guatemala and now I’m on my way to Africa. I’m not sure I ever would have developed such a love for international missions if I had never transferred schools and had the opportunity to go on my first mission trip back in 2017.
I remember being absolutely lost and so confused as to why I was transferring and what was happening in life then. Looking back, though, I couldn’t be more thankful for everything that happened. One of my favorite quotes is “Maybe the journey isn’t really about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that really isn’t you, so you could be who you were created to be in the first place”. I can’t think of anything better in the world than becoming exactly who you were created to be and do what you were created to do!! I think one of the coolest things i’ve experienced is being able to look back and see everything come full circle on why God did the things he did in my life. It took an all time low then to be at an all time high now. He stripped me of every single thing I thought I had so that I had absolutely nothing to rely on but Him. I wouldn’t give up the things I learned during that time for anything and I’m so pumped to see how God is going to use that in what He’s doing through me now. I think that’s the beauty in obedience, finding out later what God had in mind.
So here’s to the freshman year me. The one who had no idea what she was doing but was trusting God the whole entire way anyway. The one who didn’t think missions could ever be reality. I’m putting those dreams to life. Because of who the Lord is and what He’s done in my heart the past 4 years, I get to put those dreams to life!! I get to go live in a different country across the world for 3 months and share Jesus’s love with Ethiopia. Forever thankful for the journey, this new heart and these big desires!!
