During our first debrief in Sri Lanka, we were encouraged to write a Psalm to the Lord… real and raw just like David as a form of worship. Here is what I wrote:
Suddenly, I’ve been dropped in your garden.
The squirrels jump from limb to limb above me and chase each other through the palms. The birds soar with the current of the wind, trusting the flow in direction. Clusters of coconuts grow on the trees and palms shed their dead limbs in due season. Your creation is playful and purposeful.
So what am I?
I am your most treasured creation, made to look like you. Your child. How much more is my purpose in your garden?
The sacrifice of Christ covers me. His love for me I don’t comprehend. I am not worthy to be here but He is why I am here… now what am I to do?
I am just as you have created me… beautiful and without flaw. I cannot hide behind a screen any longer, no title, no role, no responsibility, no sin….
How am I to feel? What am I to do? Who have you created me to be?
I have made life too complicated… not as you have intended. “Do not worry about tomorrow,” you tell me, but I do not listen. I have taken a piece of your creation and claimed it as my own. I have purchased the land and grew entitled. Took control of the land and tended to it as a I saw fit… but the grass was greener on the other side. So I purchased more and more land until I could not even maintain what I owned. I hired helpers and carried their burdens too. I thought of them as less than myself because they worked for me and I earned it… I put in my time now they must put in theirs.
Lord, I do not have helpers in your garden but I am your helper. I do not own anything in your garden but you have given it all to me. You keep watch over me with joy like I am a child chasing butterflies outside your kitchen window. I am your child and you are my father. You lift my burdens and intend for me to play in your creation – to be child-like in your presence. You desire true worship – the ever-knowing conscious choice to believe that you are the creator of everything there ever was and will be. You can not be placed inside a box, for a box cannot contain you.
Forgive me Lord, for I have forgotten what it means to play. I do not know what you see when you see me. I do not know how to begin to take on the identity of Christ in me, but you have made it possible. You have made all things possible.
