I thought this is something important to share—it’s about the process of fundraising and admitting the thoughts and emotions I struggle with about raising money and pursuing missions in general. It’s a conversation I had with God the other night:
God,
I don’t understand what You’re doing with me. I feel like I’ve taken the biggest risk of my life for the sake of obeying You. This process of saying yes to missions and the World Race has not been easy or comfortable. My only comfort is knowing that I’m obeying You. I think of the story of Abraham and Isaac and I take comfort knowing that just because the process we may be going through is painful, it doesn’t mean that we’ve somehow strayed from Your path for us, and it doesn’t mean that the end result is painful. I’m sure Abraham’s process of obedience to You was excruciating because he was preparing to sacrifice his son. But it ended joyfully because You provided for him, and in the end Abraham had proven himself obedient. I’ve noticed that many times when You ask Your people to do something it almost always involves risk.
As I face uncertainty of my future I admit that I don’t know the outcome of where my process of obedience to You leads. I’ve said yes to pursuing missions, but I don’t know where this road will ultimately take me. I’ve said yes to the World Race, but I don’t know where this road will lead me either (especially as I enter into a time of fundraising). But I know this: You are good, and I will trust in the truth about Your character. I may not know my outcome, but I know I have been obedient and this is enough for me. I’ve come to a revelation and I know what I want in life more than anything else. God, I want my life to lead others closer to Your heart. Don’t let me take a path in life that doesn’t lead others closer to Your heart.
