In India God did something in me that I’m still trying to figure out. The best way I can describe it is that He gave me a passion and ability to share the gospel in a way that I’m not used to operating in: preaching.
Each evening my team and I would pile into a vehicle and drive anywhere from thirty minutes to three hours away from where we were staying (in a church next to our host’s home) and we would visit one of the villages in Southern India. Once there we would share a message, testimony, and lead worship with the villagers who would then feed us homemade dishes. When I first heard that our ministry would be leading church services and preaching, I cringed. I don’t have the smoothest history of public speaking, and I wasn’t looking forward to speaking in front of people who not only speak a different language than me, but have a different culture and way of understanding/communicating with each other.
Just to give you a glimpse of my speaking background, I was the student whose face would inevitably turn red whenever asked to give a short speech or presentation, I’d always have to have notes, I would frequently lose my place and need to glance at my notecard, sometimes I’d get so nervous that I wouldn’t be able to eat the entire day leading up to whenever I’d have to speak. In Myanmar, I told my team that I’d rather watch one-million people use a squatty than preach one sermon (dramatic, but I meant every word). I also shared with them how I felt like public speaking is something that I wrestle with God about, but He keeps bringing it back into my life.
Our first week in India people on my team took turns speaking when they felt God was leading them to, and I remember as each day passed by I grew more and more uncomfortable because I knew God was telling me to speak. I knew my team wasn’t going to force me to speak, and in all honesty I probably could’ve gone the entire month without having to preach. But I realized that it wasn’t about me pleasing man, it was about being obedient to God.
I remember sobering up while praying to God about it one day, as He put things into perspective for me. India has always had a special place in my heart since I was eleven years old and here I was finally in the country and I was rejecting the opportunity to share the most precious thing I have: the gospel.
I was refusing to share with these people the hope that I’d had the privilege of growing up hearing, and I didn’t even know what was stopping me from doing it. I began to ponder each obstacle that would make me hesitate from sharing a message of truth, hope, and love with people.
Fear of messing up: God’s grace is big enough to cover any mistake I could make.
Fear of looking or sounding foolish: Who I am in Christ is not contingent upon how others perceive me
Cultural barriers: The Holy Spirit has been breaking these long before I was ever around (take a look at Acts 2).
The more I thought of it the more I realized that what God was wanting to do in India and was doing in India far outweighed any fear I had. Every movement of His Spirit has to start somewhere, and if we aren’t being obedient where God tells us to then we may never know what we are refusing to be a part of, and what our lack of obedience is prolonging.
So, I preached in India and I have spoken several times on the World Race. And I wasn’t nervous, and I didn’t need any notes. I cant explain it, but all I can say is that it wasn’t by me or my power that I’ve been able to open my mouth and speak about God, but it comes straight from His Holy Spirit. There have been times where I attempt to prepare a message and God tells me He has something else He wants to talk about and He doesn’t make it clear until minutes before I have to speak. Each time I’ve stood up, the scriptures flow out of a memory I didn’t even know I had.
God changed something inside of me to the point where my desire for others to experience Him and know the truth, outweighs any hesitation I have of speaking. He’s given me a yearning for others to experience and know Him.
My prayer is that whoever reads this can be encouraged by my testimony. God truly can do anything through anyone and it’s powerful because others respond to Him working in you and through you. He looks for the willing and for those whose hearts are set on Him.
Here’s some pictures from India!!
Preaching in the villages
Saree shopping
Dressed for church!
