Right before the New Year something happened to my pinky finger. It felt like I had pulled a muscle or something. It hurt to write, type, even bend it. I didn’t know what was wrong or what I had done to injure it. I made it into a joke as I put on a homemade splint made out of a pen and polka dot duct tape. But in reality I was frustrated. I’m a writer and worship God through journaling, which was now made painful. I was just raised to Logistics Leader where I need to document everything, but it hurt to write and type.
I asked my teammate Christa to pray over it one night at debrief and as soon as she finished it felt better. Carefully I took off the splint thinking God had miraculously healed me instantly, only to discover it was only a momentary release. I knew God could heal it but would He? Or would I need to let a doctor tell me what was wrong with it.
A few days later we had our first day of ministry at a Home for the disabled and mentally handicapped.
For years I’ve desired to learn sign language, but just never got around to it. Every now and then I’ll feel a tug towards it again but I never act. At the Home one of the residents can only communicate through sign language and once again I felt that pull. I quickly got excited thinking – I’ll learn sign language this months so I can talk to him – but then remembered I had an injured hand. If I couldn’t even write, how could I sign? Once again I felt frustration. So I prayed, “Lord how can I use this passion of mine for your glory if I can’t even move my finger?!”
I questioned whether I’d actually be able to ever lean sign language.
Later that night Christa randomly asked me how my finger was doing. I immediately responded, “It still hurts” and moved it to confirm. But when I moved it, there was no pain. None, whatsoever.
Confused and not really believing it to be true, I kept wiggling it around, not wanting to trust it, thinking that at any moment the pain would return again like it had at debrief.
But it didn’t.
God had healed me.
My disbelief continued and days went by of me testing it, waiting for the pain to return, but it hasn’t. God really did heal me.
So today I sit here downloading videos on my iPad so I can start the process of learning sign language. Something I’ve waited years to do. But it took the possibility of me not being able to do this, in order for me to actually step up and learn.
Praise God that He has healed me so I can use my hands to sign for His glory in whatever way that looks like for Him!
But lesson learned: don’t wait forever to act on something you’re passionate about. You never know when the smallest thing might happen to keep you from doing it.
