Yesterday I was spending time with my Papa, talking with Him about things I’ve been talking to Him about for years. Lately, however, those prayers have become more like, “Lord, I just don’t know what to pray for anymore when it comes to XYZ. It’s been ____ years and I’ve seen growth, but it’s not fully there yet. I don’t know what to ask for anymore.”
And it’s true, I’ve been praying for years about the same things – they’re important things to me so I will tirelessly ask, knock, and seek the Lord. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t times I question whether or not God will actually answer a prayer to the fullest extent I’ve asked of Him. I’ve actually said to Him a few times, “Lord, it will be the biggest miracle I’ve ever seen if XYZ happens.” And that's true as well, there are certain things that my human mind can’t possibly fathom happening, even if I desire it to happen.
So yesterday I came before the Lord, more tired than normal, gently walked through each prayer with Him and told Him I don’t know what else I can do. Then I prayed that He would use my time in the Word to talk to me and guide me. I remembered that I had previously stopped at a certain point in Matthew on purpose because I knew it was the start of some of my favorite sections. I prayed that it be exactly what I needed and that I had stopped there for a reason.
I reread chapters six, seven, eight, and nine and knew that the Lord had wanted me to read exactly these chapters.
Chapter six reminded me to not worry because the Lord knows exactly what I need and as His precious child, He will always provide.
Chapter seven reminded me to ask, seek, and knock, and as His precious child, how much more will He give to those who ask.
There were a few different themes I sensed the Lord trying to remind me of that I could talk about, but the biggest one was about Faith in chapters 8 and 9. It might seem silly, but I needed that reminder.
In chapters 8 and 9 Jesus heals because of their faith in Him.
The Centurion doesn’t even ask Jesus to come into his house to heal his paralyzed servant because he feels unworthy to have Jesus under his roof. Instead he states, “Just say the word, and my servant will be healed.” (Matthew 8:8) He truly believed that the power of Jesus could heal using only His words, and Jesus was amazed at this man’s faith. “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” The servant was healed in that moment.
As Jesus is walking to heal someone’s daughter, a woman who has been bleeding for twelve years touches the edge of His cloak, saying to herself “If I only touch His cloak, I will be healed.” This woman was sick for twelve years, yet she truly believed if she could just grasp a small part of Jesus (not even His flesh but His clothing!), she could be healed. Jesus immediately sensed her faith in Him and turned to her. “Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.” (Matthew 9:22)
How much more will Jesus heal things in my own life if I truly believe He can? The Centurion believed in the power of Jesus’ word and the bleeding woman believed drawing nearer to Him would heal. Don’t we also have these two things? Through having the bible, the word of God, don’t we also have access to draw nearer to Jesus, and nearer to His healing words? Won’t His words also continue to heal today if we have the faith to believe He can and will?
I have been praying for many of the same things for years now, and I have whole-heartedly believed He could and would be at work. But every now and then, as I patiently wait on His perfect timing, I’ll have a sliver of doubt and question, “Are you really at work Lord? Will you really heal?”
His Word answered that question for me yesterday.
Yes daughter, I will heal. But do you believe that I am able to do this?
I smiled as I heard Him ask this, because I knew my answer. My faith in God has brought me this far, and how much healing have I already seen? How many times have I been amazed at His power and love? How many miracles and victories have I seen because of God patiently listening to my endless prayer, hearing my faith in Him, and Him providing? If my faith has brought me this far already, How can I doubt how much farther He will take me?
On the Race I’m sure I will continue to ask questions like this. I’ve seen many blogs where others Racers have asked questions like this. But in those times of doubt, I hope I remember Matthew 8 and 9 and the faith that those had in Him, as well as the power and presence that Jesus’ word has for healing.
