Coming into Month Five our squad knew changes were approaching. New Squad Leaders would be raised up, new Team Leaders, and most importantly, new teams. In our own ways, we have all be preparing for this while trying to not have any expectations.
Coming into Month Five I felt called to leadership and that it wouldn’t be only females. My thought was that maybe I would be Team Leading a co-ed team. But when New Year’s Eve rolled around and we received our new team assignments, it was clear that wasn’t it. I was not Team Leading and I was once again on an all girls team. Neither of those things bothered me though because I didn’t feel called to Team Leading and I absolutely love being on an all girls team (who knew?!).
However, right after new teams were assigned I was pulled aside by my Squad Leader Alicia and asked if I wanted to be the new female Logistics Leader, since our original one – Sam – had been raised to Squad Leader. Immediately I responded with an enthusiastic “Yes!”
As I praised God while processing through this change, I realized that the Lord had not only been preparing me for this new role, but had told me before the Race even started without my knowing.
Back at Launch in September I had an amazing moment with Jesus in which He crouched before me with a huge grin on His face, chuckled at me, and told me “Come on silly, have confidence I will grow you.” Immediately after that the middle months of the Race, Month Five and Month Six were pressed heavily on my heart that they were going to be important and significant months for me. At the time I had no idea what that meant but slowly over time God has revealed His greater plan for me on this journey with Him via the Race.
Over the past four months of being with BBH, leadership has been spoken over me, encouraged, pushed and pressed into me. I became the Travel Leader for my team and was constantly encouraged by my team in how I led them through Travel Days, making it smooth and easy for them even if it was slightly stressful for me. My team loved me well by lifting me up in encouragement with something that I love doing.
Then coming into this month, leadership and not all females was pressed on to me – which turned out to mean being a Logistics Leader where I’ll work closely with my male counterpart Mike!
I’ve realized though, God has been preparing me for this position longer than just the Race. Something the Lord and I have been working on is my words – specifically, holding my tongue. I love communication. I love having information that I get to share with others and I love being an open book for people. But sometimes my words are slippery and unhelpful. There have been many times over the past year and a half I have felt God gently rebuking me and trying to teach me when it’s ok and not ok to share certain things. It’s been a work in progress but there has been growth.
Being Logistics Leader is definitely going to train me even more in the art of holding my tongue. Sometimes I will be told information that I am not allowed to share with the Squad or my Team until a certain time. For instance, where and when Debriefs are and route changes. It’s going to be hard! It already has been hard! But God is growing me in it, and I am so thankful to be given this opportunity and called into this position.
