How crazy is this…we only have one week left in Ecuador! Sorry I’ve been slacking on the blogs. Wifi is limited, but our free time is even more scarce. We have packed days with manual labor, so I’m usually too tired to write something up. But I finally have a lot to say, so it’s time to share!
Let me start with today. I’m basically processing this as I write it out, so excuse my jumbled thoughts. Today was HARD. Alas, everyone warned me that you will have hard days on the race. But this was beyond the transformation of your heart kind of hard, this was mentally, physically, and emotionally draining.
Two nights ago I got food poisoning, and spent a miserable night throwing up. (Probably from a salad…oops, can’t eat lettuce here!) I spent yesterday recuperating, but was told we had an early day today. 6am wake up call! We were presented with six pieces of paper, our “instructions” for the day, all in Spanish. I was excited because this was our first time out in the city alone as a team; adventure time! We took a bus to Montecristi, a neighboring city, where the most dreadful hike known to man awaited us.
It seemed like everyone in Ecuador was in on the scavenger hunt. Friendly strangers told us what bus to take, where to get off, and where the mountain was. It was a pretty intimidating mountain, but I generally like to hike so it didn’t seem crazy. Until about ten minutes in when our first vertical climb approached.
When I say vertical, I mean we were rock climbing half of the way up this mountain. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a thrill! I’m a total adrenaline junkie. From bunjee jumping to shark cage diving, sign me up! But this seemed dangerous and unsafe and I was confused why anyone would do this for fun. I’m still confused and actually highly doubt anyone would consider it fun. We all started out with positive attitudes, but things took a turn for the worse when the first injury occurred – me, of course. After climbing a good six feet, my foot slipped and I tumbled back down the way I came. Blood, sweat, and tears mingled, and I tried my best not to cry. (And failed…of course.) But alas, the mountain awaits, and considering we were only about thirty minutes into what would be a six hour escapade, I kept my eyes on the prize. Reaching the top!
With every hour, more injuries occurred. Dehydration, falls, I reached for a cactus instead of a branch (still in pain from that one.) After three hours, WHERE WAS THE TOP?! There were times where I had to sit there, cry laughing, and give myself a pep talk. Because there was no valid reason why I was on this stupid hike about to throw up, bleeding, cactus thorns in hand, and feeling like I couldn’t make it. The slope was so steep that we thought there was no way we could go back down the way we came up, so we had no other option but to press on.
There was one point where I lost it, and was crying, “EVERYTHING HURTS!” From a pulled muscle to bleeding scrapes, I felt like my body was being attacked. I kept thinking to myself, “What metaphorical mountain am I climbing right now? There HAS to be something God wants to teach me through this!”
When I first got to Ecuador, I got really sick. It was extremely painful, and so hard having just gotten here and then already feeling like I wanted to go home. My boyfriend sent me this text, and I’ve continued to hold on to his words through several circumstances this month –
“Every time I’m suffering I think of those who’ve suffered more. When I’m cold there are Marines who froze to death at the Chosin Reservoir, when I’m hot there were Marines who battled the Iraqi sun. When I miss you, I think of Marines who never saw their families again. Maybe it would help you to think of how Christ suffered, since you walk in his footsteps. When you are sad, in pain, lonely, He is there and has suffered too.” He’s a Marine, in case you couldn’t tell, and as I was climbing (and descending) this mountain from hell, his words echoed true in my mind. Imagine Christ bearing the cross, being beaten to a pulp. Imagine Christ knowing his fate, but choosing to do the Lord’s will. Imagine Christ loving me so unconditionally, that he chose this path from his own free will.
Well okay, I can climb this damn mountain.
Descending was even more rough. We got to the top, were disappointed by the view, and realized that the way up was the way down. I was terrified. Shaking, feeling nauseous, genuinely scared of hitting my head on a rock and never waking up kind of terrified. But what can you do? Josh likes to say that every mountain he’s climbed up, he’s made it back down again. True that, brother. We only had one choice.
A lot of tears, blood, and choice words happened on the way down. I have never been more thankful to see solid pavement before, nor to find a cold water bottle. I’m still not sure what the Lord wanted to teach us, but I’m also realizing that I might not get to know that. And that’s okay. I don’t get all the answers, because I don’t need them. God tells me what I need to know and when I need to know it. It’s become a theme of my race so far. There are going to be more moments where everything hurts. On the race, and after. That’s part of a broken world filled with sin. But we have a merciful, healing, loving God who weeps with us in these moments. I’m trying to remember to appreciate the hurting moments, knowing that growth takes pain sometimes.
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. (James 1:2-3)
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)
There’s my metaphorical mountain, y’all. This is a hard concept to come to terms with, but I’m learning more and more what the definition of a servant of Christ is. I am putting the Lord’s will above my own, and trusting Him beyond anything else.
UPDATE: I wrote this blog two days ago, and shortly after spent the day throwing up. I couldn’t keep anything down and was in extreme stomach pain, so I made a trip to the hospital. Third world hospitals are not my favorite place, let’s just say that. After several miserable hours there, it was concluded that I have a bacterial infection. All I could think was – praise Jesus I’m okay. I have truly never been so thankful to be alive! That may sound dramatic, but they were concerned I had appendicitis – and I was not about to have surgery there. Thank goodness I am on antibiotics and in recovery, but am still not doing great. Please keep me in your prayers as well as the rest of my team, two other teammates have had to make doctor visits as well. It’s crazy that I wrote this blog about hurting, and shortly after I was in the worst pain of my life. Honestly, I didn’t handle it very well, either. I am being stretched and grown more than I thought possible for the first month. But God is good, and I’m trusting He knows what He’s doing!
Beyond this crazy day, the Lord is doing great things in Ecuador! We have been working in a nursing home, and loving every second with our crazy second family over there. The Spirit has been moving, and we’ve had some really cool moments with softened hearts and prayer working. Thank you Jesus for shining your light there! Aubrey and I have been praying in the woman’s dormitory, and during our last visit we felt such heaviness. After seeking the Lord, we felt the darkness rising and the Lord fighting for His children in there. It was such a sweet moment!
Please be praying for my team and me as we wrap up in Portoviejo this week and then head to Banos for our squad debrief. We have built amazing relationships with our host families as well as the youth group at church, and I’m already nervous to say goodbyes. It’s crazy how people can become family in such a short period of time!
Sending love from Ecuador!
