So I feel as if I owe my wonderful supporters/friends/family an explanation. I haven’t blogged in a while because well, I am scared. Who wants to write about that? Not me, that’s for dang sure, but here I am. I am scared. Scared of the future, scared of leaving my family, friends, and dog for 11 months (I really love my dog,okay?!) But when I promised to keep you updated on all the happenings, I said sometimes it wouldn’t be pretty or cute.
The reality is, in 10 days I leave for training camp to meet the people that I will spend all of next year growing, serving, and laughing with. In ten days my best friend will drive me to the airport and drop me off to fly away to Georgia for a week. I am STOKED for camp, so excited for what God is going to do in me and how he is going to transform my heart. But i’ll be honest, I already dread the idea of waving goodbye to Kelsea (She’s the previous stated best friend). I’ll probably cry and it won’t be cute.
But that’s what I signed up for, right? That’s the reality. Hard goodbyes, tear filled “i’ll see you laters” and extra long hugs. I said yes to Jesus, which also looks like saying no to what I thought 2015 was going to look like. Don’t get me wrong, this is the trip of a lifetime. I am over the moon excited to tell the nations about a creator who loves them unconditionally and sent his son to die for them. I’m stoked to speak hope into the life of a woman stuck in human trafficking, i’m honored that i’ll get the opportunity to see Jesus in orphans and widows all over the world. I am blessed. But with the blessing comes hardship.
This feeling of fear and sadness has been a feeling i’ve been trying to get rid of for a few weeks now. I don’t want to feel it. I just want to be excited and stoked for the future. But I do feel it. They are like the awkward house guests who are over staying their visit. I can’t just kick them out, I have to deal with it. Have real conversations about it, think of real solutions and figure it out.
Here’s the upside of all these feelings: I feel this way because I have an AWESOME life at home. I love my family (my mom has and always will be my biggest fan, and my brother is my best friend), I love my friends, I love my church, I love my job (holla oakhill starbucks family), I love the Pacific Northwest, man the list could go on and on and on. I just love my life. I know for a fact that God isn’t going to call me to leave all those things, and then not provide all those things and more for all of 2015, it will just look a little different. All in all, i’m blessed. I’ve been abundantly blessed, and now i’m freakin out about the idea of change.
I’ve already seen the Lord provide so many blessings throughout this entire journey! Not just little things, i’ve seen the Lord bring in $1,500 dollars in FOUR days (Which means I totally met my first goal and now am working at my second goal of $7,500 by December 18th!). HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! Well, Jesus. That’s how. It’s just been crazy. And even more importantly, he’s given me the COOLEST people to run this race with. (Holla at my N squad family!) The people I’m meeting in 10 days are already becoming my close friends, and beloved family. The Lord has deeply bonded us over the last few months, and it’s been rad to see unfold.
All in all, i’m blessed, I know i’m blessed. But that little fear monster keeps trying to wiggle his way right into the middle of my life to derail all that God is doing in my heart and life. So family, friends, supporters, please please please be praying for me. Pray for peace and patience, rest and joy and loads and loads of trust. Thank you for believing in me and for partnering with me in this journey. I wouldn’t ever want to do it without you all.
Peace and Blessings,
Ariah Lynn <3
