Month two started out rough. We had gotten to Thailand and I was ON TOP OF THE WORLD. I was wide-eyed and bushy tailed and SO ready for the grand adventure that Thailand was going to be. See, I had left the Philippines with my eyes locked on Jesus. I didn’t see the chaotic storm around me because I was so focused on my Savior. However, somewhere in between a long travel day, leadership changes, relational team struggles and our first ever squad debrief, I was catching on to how chaotic this storm had been all along.
My second week in Thailand I was sitting outside a bar, listening to worship music, and praying for the men and women who would soon fill that place. I was praying that God would do something radical through us and in them. It was in that moment when God showed me that He was about to do something radical IN me. He showed me that before I could love people well around me, I needed to let God love me. Soon after God told me that, the song “We Dance” by Steffany Gretzinger started playing and the only thing I could do was cry. I realized in that moment that I had taken my eyes off of The Lord and I was focusing on the raging storm in Thailand, in my team, in my squad and in my life.
A couple nights later I was praying for my team that was out making relationships with women and men in the red light district and God spoke to me in a CRAZY COOL way. I was swept away into a dream. The first shot of this dream was me sprinting out in to the middle of the ocean and jumping into the arms of God. He picked me up and started spinning me around and we were laughing hysterically together, snorting, tears, and all. He then gently set me down on the water and we started dancing together. However, as soon as we started dancing, I was much more aware of everything happening around me. The storm was raging and I kept looking around waiting for Him to calm it and nothing was happening, the storm was getting crazier, and I was getting more afraid. I just wanted to be on some solid ground and not on the raging sea. God graciously redirected my gaze to meet His and softly reminded me to lock eyes with him. He wanted me to focus on His goodness and peace.
“And I will lock eyes with the One who’s ransomed me, the One who gave me joy for mourning, and I will lock eyes with the One who’s chosen me, the One who set my feet to dancing.” (Steffany Gretzinger.)
Once I locked eyes with Jesus and danced with him on the raging sea, I didn’t remember that the sea was raging.
The struggles didn’t go away, Thailand was still spiritually heavy and my team was struggling, but I wasn’t afraid of it anymore. There is freedom and peace when you follow Jesus into a storm.
Towards the end of the month we were having a particularly hard team time and on top of the fact that I was pretty done talking about my feelings, my right foot was in extreme pain; like the I-can’t-walk kind of pain and I was pretty over that as well. The lord gently nudged me get over those selfish thoughts of being “over it” and share with my team what was happening.
As soon as I shared my team surrounded me, laid hands on my right foot and began desperately and confidently praying for God to heal my foot and take away the pain. They prayed once and the pain had begun to subside, but it still hurt when I stood on it, so they prayed again, and then once more.
After three times of praying for healing, heaven invaded earth, and not only could I stand on my foot, but I could run and jump and dance. Not only did God heal my foot, he healed a part of my heart that I didn’t know was broken (Stay tuned for part 2 of this blog).
When I chose to lock eyes with Jesus, to dance with Him even when I was “over it” and to believe Him when He told me He was captivated by me, crazy life-changing things happened. The sea didn’t stop raging, I was just able to dance in the middle of it with my Savior.
This growth has happened in 2.5 months, and I so desperately desire the growth that is to come. Please prayerfully consider partnering with me financially so I can stay on this trip. My next deadline is April 1st, and I still need $1,385 to meet the $11,000 deadline. To be fully funded I need $6,635 by July 1st.
Thank you so much to those who have read my blogs, prayed for me a million times or once and/or financially given to this trip. You are all my partners and I’m honored to serve along side you.
