Well, it’s happened. I’m back in Africa.
And I’ll have to be honest. In the weeks leading up to arriving here, I wasn’t looking forward to being here.
Before coming to Zambia, I’ve been to Uganda twice in the past few years for shorter term (about two weeks each) mission trips, and both times it was a challenging, but good experience. And although Uganda is a beautiful country full of beautiful people, through my experiences there I determined in my own heart that I perhaps wasn’t cut from the kind of cloth that made up missionaries.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle life without a cell phone, constant access to the internet, common electric appliances, western style toilets or running water. In fact, it turned out there was something nice about getting away from all of that for a time. My experiences in Uganda instead showed me that I didn’t feel equipped to be able to reach out to orphans, preach in churches, and lead worship in environments that were culturally so much different than I was used to.
Perhaps there’s something deeper to why I didn’t feel made for the mission lifestyle, but at the time I just felt more useful in my own culture. I decided for myself that I loved the idea of missions and the idea of Christians doing what’s in their power to reach out to those in need across the earth. I even decided that I would continue to go on these trips. But I didn’t feel good at the missionary life. And so I therefore told myself I wasn’t called to embrace a life of missions.
For this reason, I was uneasy about returning to Africa. I knew that ministry these months would involve a lot more of me being asked to preach, teach, evangelize, and a lot of being put on the spot to do so – the very things I didn’t feel good at a few years ago, and the very things that might make many American Christians nervous. Honestly, I was so uneasy about it all a week ago that I might have found a way to avoid going if there was only an easy way to do so.
Once I landed in Zambia, something interesting happened to me.
On the way out of the Airport, I had an opportunity to smell the air, see the trees, and feel the ambiance of the area. And it excited me. A reaction I definitely wasn’t expecting considering my apprehension. It was as if God was showing me in that moment that I didn’t need to be afraid of where He had brought me, and what He is calling me to. Shortly afterward, the pastor that met us at the airport asked us to move to the side and close our eyes for some reason. After waiting for a minute or two. . .
This happened
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If you’re confused. . . Matt is a good friend of mine that happened to be somewhat nearby, and took a bus over to Zambia to surprise me and hang out with us for a few days before moving on
Since then, I feel like God has been supernaturally giving me peace and confidence about my situation. Which is so cool. In the first two days of ministry, I’ve had the opportunities to both preach and evangelize – things I either have negative experiences with or feel anxious about – and in neither of these experiences have I really felt nervous at all, and instead, found myself embracing confidence in God like I’ve been doing it my whole life.
So now, here I am in Africa, and I feel okay about where I am. Although I’m still out of my comfort zone, it turns out that God is here, and he is helping me through it. My fears may be true in some ways, but overall I feel better than I expected to. Not only that, but in these challenging months, I feel I have already grown a lot, and look expectantly toward the rest of the race.
So join me. Continue the process of replacing fear with trust, and anxiety with boldness. Learn to find what you need in the Lord, and obey Him especially when it’s difficult. You have a lot to offer. So find ways to offer it.
My technical final financial deadline is July 1st, only 22 days away. Please allow me to continue teaching, preaching, working, playing, loving, hugging, evangelizing, holding children, praying, worshiping, and being in awe of God across the earth by donating any amount today.
