“Your heart was, like, made for missions.” – My best friend/roommate
This is, by far, the best compliment that I have ever received from a person. Not because it shows how awesome I am, but because it shows me that my desire to show the world the love of Jesus and glorify His name is so apparent within me. This desire is what drives me, it is what fuels my decisions, and I know that my God has called this to be my life’s work; to be a full-time missionary overseas, humbly serving and loving the poorest of the poor, and providing opportunities for them to come to know the Savior, Jesus Christ.
This past weekend, I was at our Women’s Retreat for the year with Cal Poly Cru. During the first night, I was talking to our speaker about my excitement for going on the World Race when she stopped me and asked the question “But why this trip?” I honestly don’t remember what I said, but I know that I rambled off a bunch of things that didn’t fully answer the question. I’ve been on this journey with God that has led to Him calling me to The World Race, and without question, I have moved forward in obedience to His calling. However, I’ve never stopped to think about why it is He is calling me to this. The next morning, I sat through the speaker’s talk about how God has beautifully and wonderfully made each of us (Psalm 139) with certain strengths, skills, and desires and that He is going to one day call us up to use them for His glory. As we were sent off to have some time with God, I sat down to look at how God made me and try to answer this question of “why the World Race?”
I walked away from that time with God having given me a deep understanding and confidence of why I have been called to the World Race. As I write now, I know that I cannot do justice to what I was feeling then, in the moment; so instead, I would just like to share with you the journal entry that came out during my time with God that day.
“Daddy,
I think I finally understand why You have me going on the World Race. You have fearfully and wonderfully made me and shaped me into the person I am today, with a specific skill set that lends itself to glorify Your name.
I have always wanted to go overseas, not for the beauty of the places, but for the love of the people there. It is people, it is cultures that I love to learn about, to understand, to connect to, to embrace with a love that You have placed in my heart. But I know, especially for me, that connecting is not enough. The lives I come into contact with, I want to be improved when I leave, I want them to be better than when I first met them, I want them to be positively influenced by me. This isn’t some sort of prideful thing of “look how awesome I am for helping people”; no, this is a desire deep within me that I have felt from such a young age, a pure desire to do good. And I know now that this desire I feel is to fulfill my basic function of who You, God, made me to be as a woman. I am to be a helper! (Genesis 2:18-23)
And the best way I have found to help people is to point them to You, Lord, to the Gospel, and the hope that You have provided for every person out of Your deep, intense love for each and every one of us. Yet, I know that (from personal experience and Scripture) that Your love surpasses knowledge and it is not enough to sit around and merely talk about it, but we must experience it as well! And the best way to experience love is through the people around you.
Lord, You designed me to show love through acts of service and quality time and I see now how You are going to use this to glorify Your name. I desperately desire to go overseas to serve Your people, Lord, to be a demonstration of Your love, God. To show these people that even though they may be considered the least of the world, that the God who created them loves them and desperately wants to know them!
God, I am not going on the World Race because I am merely drawn to it and “qualified” to go, but because You have called me up to go as the skill set You have woven into me fits perfectly to this missions trip!”
I know my God has called me to commit my life to missions, and I know that the World Race is the beginning step. When I felt God calling me to apply, I felt Him telling me to take Him out of this box I have placed Him in, and to step forward into something big that forces me to trust fully in Him on a daily basis. Going on the World Race is going to do exactly that. I’m walking into this trip with minimal information of what I’ll be doing in each country, or even in what order we’ll be going to these countries, or what to expect during the trip, and my poor little planner personality is already having to deeply trust God with this. But what I do know of this trip is that God is going to use it in my life to transform me, to deepen my relationship with Him, to make me a better woman of God, and He will give me every opportunity to preach the Gospel, show others His love, and to make a difference in the world for God. And this is enough for me! 🙂
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