Hello everyone! It has been a month since my last post, and there has been a change to my launch date–I will no longer leave for my missions trip on the January 2020 route, but rather in August 2020. I have updated my page to reflect this change, and I will know further details in the coming weeks when they are announced by the World Race. This blog is still active, I will be updating it, and all the current and future donations will transfer over to my trip in August. The only difference is that the countries I will be visiting may change.
In order to leave for the missions trip, I have to get medical and counseling clearance to attest for my physical, emotional, and overall readiness. Evidently, going on a missions trip for a year is a challenge in that we have to be able to adapt to the circumstances, withstand stressors, and work well as a team. About 3 weeks ago, I submitted my medical form and finished the 10 sessions required with my counselor. However, my counselor asked to speak to the World Race before signing the form. He was unsure as to whether or not he felt confident he could sign it. So for the past 3 weeks, I had to wait as my counselor and the World Race talked it over.
Those 3 weeks of waiting sprung up feelings and thoughts of uncertainty and doubt as I was unsure as to what was going to happen. At times I feared that after going public and after all the effort I had put in, that I would not end up going to the missions trip. Nevertheless, as I was praying for faith one night, the Holy Spirit made me realize that I was praying for God to give me faith in the future meanwhile I was doubting at that moment. So, I changed my strategy and began praying with faith as if God had already answered my prayer. I immediately felt my faith grow. God has since reminded me of the following Bible verses:
Mark 11:23-25 (ESV)
23 Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Psalm 27:14 (ESV)
14 Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
After this, I felt peaceful. I remembered that the main reason I signed up to go to a mission trip anyway was to serve Jesus, and if missions wasn’t where He wanted me to be, then there was no point for me to stress about it! Three days ago, the World Race called me to tell me that they had been talking with my counselor and decided that they could not offer me a position in the January 2020 Expedition Route, but that if everything went well that I could go on the August 2020 launch instead. The reason for their decision is based on my counselor’s evaluation of me. They told me that while my counselor spoke highly of me, he considered that I need more social experience in order to be able to reliably recommend me.
I understand my counselor’s point of view and respect his opinion. I used to struggle a lot with social anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. so I habitually isolated myself. Thankfully, Jesus has since broken the chains. On my last session with my counselor, he told me that he valued all the internal growth that I have gone through in overcoming these issues, but he deemed that I needed to grow externally. I am naturally an introverted guy and spend most of the time in my own little world so it can be hard for me to integrate in community. I realize, however, that external growth is really a reflection of the internal. There has to be fruit. To that regard, in the past I have made a point in showing up in the tangible natural world by volunteering at a homeless feeding shelter for a couple of months, as well as other smaller volunteer opportunities. However, as my counselor suggested, I may in fact benefit in further developing social skills before leaving for a year to 11 different countries with very different kinds of people.
So, for the next year, the World Race requires me to go to 10 additional counseling sessions and to integrate myself in my community. Therefore, as I look forward to August 2020, my goal is to keep growing and preparing myself in every area, especially focusing in people skills. While a part of me wishes that I could have gone to the missions trip in January, I mostly feel blessed to have this opportunity to have experiences here at home, meet people, and learn what God wants to teach me. God’s timing is perfect and only He sees the whole scope of His great plans for each one of our lives!
Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
