Reflection
Two years ago now, I stepped off American soil into 11 months of service and uncertainty. Long anticipated, it was difficult to comprehend the moment had finally arrived. The disbelief was quickly subsumed by the responsibilities before us — plenty of manual labor, translation, and logistical work was on my plate right away. On the nose there was a strong call towards developing spiritual communion with one another as our team shared testimonies, learned how to live together, and how to support one another through the trials we faced.
Most months of the trip were this brand of intensity, fulfillment, and asking more of us than we knew we had to offer. Some snapshots that quickly jump to mind were street ministry in Costa Rica, evangelism in Lesotho, and community building in Malaysia. In each of those places we were part of a concrete vision set forth by our ministry hosts, and simply tasked to do our part to bring about the Kingdom. In many ways, though the work was hard, it was “easy” to step up.
Some other months were frustrating — minimal ministry in Malawi, team fragmentation in Cambodia, creeping apathy in Indonesia all come to mind. A combination of internal battles, extenuating circumstances, and weak vision from our hosts left an environment without a sense of purpose, inviting a lot of doubt and the question “Why am I here?” Ultimately some of this was out of our control, we were in Malawi for Christmas, Indonesia for Eid-al-Fitr (a major Islamic holiday) which put two-week gaps into already-short months.
I’ts understandable that we had some slow months. There were times we weren’t even allowed to leave our ministry host’s home or we were simply in the middle of nowhere. Yet, there were certainly times I could have asked for more ministry opportunities, or found my own. The reality is that a lot of ministry is “free” — you don’t need an event to go to, or to be part of a group. You can just walk up and start talking to people, whether the conversation is religious or not, just to give God the space to work in. This has been heavy on my mind since I returned.
Back Home in America
I find that I’m asking the same questions now that I am back in the United States. It’s no longer my “job” to be going out and ministering to people. Rather, it’s a responsibility that I am still learning to fulfill. On returning to America, I took a breath for a few weeks seeing family, handling all kinds of details and appointments put off for the past year. I began to link into the incredible young adult community at my parish, and joined a rock-solid men’s group.
From there, the missing piece was a job. A Mechanical Engineering degree with internships each summer and coming off a year of missions didn’t seem like too tough of a sell. Several months and scores of applications for Mechanical Designer roles with few responses and fewer interviews demanded a rethink. I was clued into managerial consulting by a colleague, which was a good fit except that I repeatedly landed between “entry-level” and “experienced” recruiting classes. Thankfully, I landed some part-time work with an engineering firm that I had previously interned for. Then, the better part of a year into the job hunt, I began pursuing roles in the Customer Experience sphere of the Tech industry. First in travel/hospitality (whew), logistics, then more missional startups, which ultimately led me to accept a role at Barn2Door as an Onboarding Manager.
While on the professional side, that was the cadence of my life for 8 months. Applications, follow-ups, Q&A sessions, networking, plenty of hand-delivered resumes. It was a tough process, I was blessed by the part-time work. I can still see where God was at work throughout. With a number of the companies I was applying for I would likely have been laid off shortly after the pandemic began. Fortunately, Barn2Door has been thriving in spite of the current public health situation.
Though more than the security is the mission-driven nature of the work that I do. I work with farmers all day. I help them bring their business to the online world, and in many cases this has been their lifeline as farmers markets and restaurants have closed. These farms are navigating a difficult period, and being able to support them in a real way has been incredibly fulfilling.
On the personal side, it was during my job search that I really began to appreciate the value of the people that I surround myself with. The value of my men’s group, where my peers have been facing life head-on, with engagements, new homes, children, and medical issues all in the fray. Establishing what my relationship with my brother looks like now that we are both independent. I’ve moved twice, first living with some Catholic missionaries to UW, now in a Catholic Men’s house which has been a great boost to my prayer life.
Looking Ahead
With all these great developments, it’s important to really incorporate the question: “Why am I here?”
Part of that is a constant check on fighting apathy. Part is a sense of falling short of where I could be achieving, just as during my mission trip at certain stages. I helped out at a few Confirmation classes. Had a few evangelical conversations along the way. Yet it’s not a part of my habits right now. I had ambitions for being a part of some kind of visitation ministry once I was settled, but that’s been nixed in the midst of pandemic.
So I need to find ways to lean in. When the plans that I had fall through, I need to take on the responsibility to fill that gap. Just because I made plans that are faith-aligned doesn’t mean they’re God’s plans for me right now. So I must seek out the new opportunities before me in prayer, fasting, at my parish which has logistical hurdles to overcome right now. Whatever it is, I am called to do it intentionally, exceptionally, and consistently.
Consider
In this time of pandemic ask yourself: What can you control? This is a time in history that invites great apathy with a lack of community gatherings, no Church on Sundays, many of us living and working in the same space all day. You get to choose how you conduct yourself. How you continue to pray, fast, and give back your time as appropriate in current circumstances. Just because a wrench was thrown in the middle of any plans you may have had doesn’t mean that we have a hall-pass on our level of dedication. Rather it is a challenge and an opportunity to stand strong in our faith, to form new habits that will build us up whenever we get back to “normal” life. Which sounds nice, but what does that mean practically? Take ten minutes to pray. Right now.
A note to my donors:
Thank you. My year on The World Race was an incredibly opportunity to go and support peoples and communities around the world. I had the chance to participate in so many incredible ministries, see the many ways that God lives through all of us and how we can be the hands and feet in His Kingdom. It was a year that fundamentally changed my approach to life, and how I will be living out my faith. Now in the working world, I understand more than ever the significance of donating one’s income — know that it is well appreciated. Please continue to keep me in your prayers, happy to connect anytime.
