Hey y’all I just wanted to take the time to apologize for neglecting my blog yet again. I was talking bout the race the other day and my friend said, “people want to give to you the person. They want to be involved in your story.” I don’t have much to say. I’m not used to people listening, or caring really, not trying to sound harsh. I realized though, that by not even giving a slight look into my life, I’m really doing a disservice to all my supporters.
In light of that I’d like to give you a quick update as to where I’m at. Right now I have approx. 800$ raised. I have concluded no matter what happens, I am going into missions. I am ready to get rid of everything against everyone’s advice and just go. I don’t care where or what it costs me. I am totally scared where I may be in a year or two. Not so much as a location cause that means little to nothing to me, but where I will be in ministry, cause I WILL be in ministry in some form or fashion. What scares me most is that my biggest fear is public speaking, and one of my top 3 gifts the last time I checked, was pastoring. I FREAKED! I argued with God. I am slowly giving up. Its a process.
Right now I have a few prayer requests. 1)That I would be patient with everyone as I go about trying to raise money. I am getting frustrated with the American culture of needing stuff and always wanting more and bigger. Frustrated at Christians who live in fear cause of the economy. And frustrated at myself for following along with everyone around me. 2)That I continue to have faith that the money WILL be there. Cause my God will supply ALL my needs according to His riches and glory. I often get discouraged as days go by and then weeks with no change in my balance. 3)That I will get out of my comfort zone much more often (or that it becomes comfortable??) and really talk with people bout both my race and my God. I am getting better at this but still struggle a lot. 4)That I will fall so deeply and helplessly in love with my creator that nothing else matters. 5)That I will learn to be free and be me. I often hide who I am, even from my closest friends and family, and rarely if ever live in freedom. I do what I think others think is best or what I think the people around me will accept. 6)For wisdom and direction as I consider when to quit my job and focus on preparing for this next stage in my journey, and as to what to do with my house.
I don’t know what my future holds, but I will try to allow you to walk with me as I find out. What I do know is that I give up, I surrender. I’m done fighting with God.
Thank you for your patience and your prayers. I will try to do a better job at blogging from now on.
“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.”
X
