Throughout this month in Cambodia, God has been teaching me all sorts of lessons. There’s been an analogy that I keep coming back to and it particularly resonates with me this month. A butterfly is beautiful but it needs the struggle of emerging from its cocoon in order for it to become who it was created to be. (That may sound a little cheesy but it totally fits.) When in times of difficulty, it’s easy to ask for the hardships to be taken away but that doesn’t allow true lessons of perseverance and faith to be learnt.
There’s been struggle this month. It hasn’t all been easy and as much as I’ve wanted to ask the Lord for clarity or to just ‘fix it’, I’ve been learning the importance of asking Him for strength to wait. Now I want to let you in on the process and share how the Lord has been working in my life.
A new learning
At home, I like to read and Google when I have questions about the Bible. There’s easy access to texts and to look up questions and to be taught new things. On the race, that reliance is stripped away as you don’t have the ability to lug around a bunch of books and Internet isn’t readily available.
Learning is done in a new way. It’s means having to completely rely upon the revelations from the Lord and the conviction He brings instead of a bunch of head knowledge. It’s learning through community and despite the challenges and mess, knowing that it’s good. So good.
It’s choosing the Lord first. Above sleep, food, electronics and communication back home. Often it’s choosing Him when it’s harder and the less appealing option.
Sharing your story
On the race, you get to share your story with all sorts of people. Sometimes they’ll understand and at other times you’re left wondering if the translator mixed up some parts. Sometimes it includes every detail from the weather at your birth to the tiny scars on your ankle and sometimes it is just the story of a short season. They can be shared over meal times with your teammates, with strangers on public transport and at small church gatherings in secluded mountaintop villages. Sometimes it tumbles out with no sort of order while in other moments, the circumstances tend to bring an unusual clarity.
While there are many factors that change, the importance is sharing what God’s done. I’ve been learning that it doesn’t matter if I mess up or stumble; my obedience is more significant than my eloquence.
God has worked over the years to bring me closer and closer to Himself and now I have plenty of opportunities to share. He’s been teaching me to glorify Him through the ways He’s been faithful instead of over glorifying my sin. It can at times be a little nerve-wracking to open up but the raw vulnerability is freeing. It brings freedom for myself and I’ve seen that sharing can also bring freedom for others. Sharing is so worth it because God takes the little that you give Him and it’s amazing to see what He does.
Humble lessons in feedback
Feedback is a huge part of World Race culture. Feedback is to call each other out and call each other to a higher standard. It’s not pointing out behaviour we want to change or nitpicking the little things that annoy us but it’s about pushing people into the Father’s heart.
It’s to see teammates and love them enough to not let them stay where they are.
Although feedback is given in love it can be hard to receive, especially if your heart is not open. Sometimes your teammates are able to see things you can’t see or aren’t willing to acknowledge.
One of my teammates, Meredith (she gave me permission to share) spoke to me and encouraged me to work on speaking more gently. It’s something she’d mentioned before and it frustrated me because as much as I’d tried ever so slightly, she was the only one to say it. No one else had a problem and I personally thought I was as gentle as I could be! As much as I wanted to argue, the key lesson with feedback is to receive it with a “thank you” and take it to the Lord in prayer. If you have anything else to say after praying, you can go and talk to that person.
I lay on the bed and expected the Lord to praise me and tell me I was doing a good job and that I didn’t have anything to worry about. Instead He pointed out that if Meredith had mentioned it for a second time, maybe there was room to grow.
I said, “God, show me.” It wasn’t because I didn’t think He would but I wanted to have more understanding.
He led me to read Philippians 4:5 – ‘Let your gentleness be evident to all.’ (I laughed as I shared it all with Meredith later on)
Ouch. Well it couldn’t be any clearer. God has been growing me through feedback and allowing me to see that there’s always room for growth. Sometimes it hurts but it’s exactly what we need.
In the waiting
There’s plenty of waiting on the World Race. We waited for months to actually begin this crazy journey and now that we’re here the waiting isn’t over. We wait for buses and airplanes and in long lines for the bathroom. We wait through lengthy services in languages we don’t understand and we wait all throughout the month to see our squad in its entirety.
This month the Lord has been teaching me to think about waiting. At first I thought I just needed to stop waiting altogether but what the Lord has been challenging me is to question: “What am I going to do while I’m waiting?”
Life can easily be seen as a waiting game. People always seem to be waiting. For more money, relationships or for better futures. It’s so easy to get stuck in this cycle but I’ve seen it hinders from being present and it means you miss out on all that’s in front of you.
This month, we have had two Exposure girls with us and they have been able to speak a lot of truth into us as a team. They spoke up and challenged us to quit jumping ahead and looking to the next chapter, whether it is Vietnam, Europe or even after the race, but to engage in the community where we actually are. They are only here for one month and they have been waiting to be in Cambodia and so they aren’t looking forward to future months but they’re looking forward to now.
I don’t want to let these moments pass. I want to be active in my waiting. There’s a song by John Waller entitled ‘While I’m Waiting’ and the chorus sings,
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will not fade, I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait
There is inevitable waiting in life but I don’t want to wait in vain. There is so much opportunity in waiting and I can either take ahold of these moments or let them slip by. It’s a choice.
Streams in the Desert
God’s timing is not ours to command
If we do not start the fire with the first strike
of our match, we must try again.
God does hear our prayer,
but He may not answer it at the precise time
we have appointed in our own minds.
Instead, He will reveal Himself to our seeking hearts,
though not necessarily when and where we may expect.
Therefore we have a need for perseverance
and steadfast determination in our life of prayer… May we, therefore, never despair.
God’s time for mercy will come –
in fact it already has come,
if our time for believing has arrived.
Ask in faith without wavering,
but never cease to petition the King
simply because He has delayed His reply.
Strike the match again and make
the sparks fly.
Yet be sure to have your tinder ready,
for you will get a fire before long.
– Charles Spurgeon
