Breaking up comes in all forms of relationships, not just romantic. It also pops up in friendships and family relationships, too. And, as I’ve experienced…
ALL BREAK UPS SUCK. Whether it was healthy or toxic, waiting to happen or out of the blue, whether the relationship was short or long, all break ups hurt. While going through my own break ups and helping friends through theirs, I’ve noticed a pattern. Society likes to tell people that when someone leaves your life, you’re supposed to be strong and emotionless and boss up like nothing ever happened. Like you didn’t make countless memories or share belly-hurtin laughs or love them with your whole heart once upon a time. So, I’d like to refute that. You DID make countless memories and you DID share belly-hurtin laughs and you DID love them with your whole heart, so you need to hurt. In most break ups, you’re losing a best friend in some form or another. You’re losing a partner in crime. You’re losing a loved one. So mourn. Mourn like there’s been a death, because in a sense, there has been. Mourn for the memories and mourn for the future plans that will no longer come true and mourn for the person who is no longer in your life, be it for the better or worse. Even if that person was horrible to you and you’re glad they’re gone, mourn for the small part of you that misses them because you loved them still. It’s important and it’s healthy. Depression is in the five stages of grief for a reason.
HOWEVER, it is so easy for us to get caught up in that stage and make a home and stay there. Depression is a very dangerous place to camp. So cry over the person and let yourself hurt for a little while, and then kick the hurt out. This is the part where you need to boss up. Take your time to grieve the loss you just endured, and then remember that you have a Father that does not let unplanned things happen to you. Remember that this happened for a reason, whether you understand it or not, and it’s time to trust that reason, because He has never failed.
I see so many people all over the place not letting themselves be sad because it’s weak or unnecessary or inconvenient but it is so important. It’s OKAY to be sad, even if you feel like you shouldn’t be. It’s not okay to bottle it up and act strong before it’s time. So be sad. And then be strong.
