Here I am again, picking up and moving on.
When I find myself on these long bus rides with my headphones in and laptop propped up on my knees, the world becomes very quiet. The colorful memories and loose thoughts start to weave themselves into a kind of logical tapestry.
Month four has been both good and hard at the same time.
Good in that I loved everything about our location and our ministry.
It was a treat to live in George Town. On the fourth floor of a spacious apartment with clean mattresses, air conditioning, running water, electricity, and a stunning rooftop view, we lived like royalty in terms of the World Race. Furthermore, there were movie theaters, beaches, shopping malls, and even a Starbucks within a few blocks of our home.
(The view from our rooftop)
While in Malaysia our team partnered with YWAM, helping them with a variety of projects including working at a hospital, running a coffee shop, putting on Christmas plays, and helping at art festivals. I personally spent most days at a homeless shelter, and I loved every minute of it.
From working in the kitchen making lunch to playing Jenga with my friend James,
I found such joy there.
On Wednesday nights we went to city parks and Red Light Districts sharing the Gospel with people on the streets. The more time I spent with haggard homeless men, women outside brothels, the poor and the broken, the more that I fell in love with them.
Their stories captivated me.
And a passion that I didn’t know existed ignited deep within me.
Even in the midst of all this good, my heart faced a different kind of challenge.
Surrounded by quaint cafes, boutique stores, and all the conveniences of the West, I started to think a lot about stuff – new clothes, souvenirs, good food, entertainment, and site-seeing. I felt like a tourist again, wanting to experience everything while I had the chance.
And somewhere in the midsts of the blessings, I allowed my focus to shift inward to what I wanted and what I needed.
And when the Race became about Annie, suddenly life got hard.
I got homesick and lonely.
I was easily irritated, often frustrated, possessive of my things, argumentative, and pitied myself.
And suddenly I realized, this isn’t who I am.
Why was I acting like this?
The next morning I broke down before God up on the roof. I didn't want to live like this anymore.
Life isn't meant to be lived looking inward, but upward and outward.
And in the course of an hour I had an attitude shift.
Asking for a clean heart, I committed myself again to God's purposes.
I surrendered my rights and entitlements, and said “not my will be done, but yours, God.”
When we quit trying make things happen the way that we want and instead give ourselves to God’s plans, our days take on a magical flavor.
And in the process we find life.
We are free and joyful. We are light and at peace. We are eager to serve and patient with the people around us. Little problems don’t bother us and our hearts overflow with gratitude.
In coming on the World Race, we were asked to dedicate ourselves to a year of abandonment.
I am realizing that it isn’t just a year commitment, but rather a lifetime commitment.
As Christians we are called to abandon our own wants, needs, and desire to control in order to receive the abundant life that God has for us.
As I leave Malaysia and head to Cambodia, all I can feel is thankfulness.
It turned out to be an incredible month bursting with life and stories.
Here's a little taste of it through our eyes….
(Thanks again to Amanda)
