You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.
John 8:32
I think I have cried more in the last three days than I have on the whole race combined.
The hinges of the flood gates were weak, and a salty downpour was a constant threat.
I was at that point where anything had the potential to tip me over.
Being left alone with a mound of dishes or the person ahead of me taking the last of the cereal was enough to send me into a puddle of tears.
And I hate that.
I’m normally not an emotional person, so being in that state made me feel unstable, vulnerable and weak.
Last night I lay in bed trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
Was I subconsciously processing the return home?
Anxious about leaving friendships I had come to cherish?
Perhaps, but something uglier was also going on.
All day I had walked around feeling judged, unwanted, ugly, unstable, and selfish,
and as a result had started to act that way.
Old habits that I’d been freed of Month Two were sparking up again, and lies I no longer believed were echoing in my ears and directing my actions.
As I lay on my mat reliving a day of selfish behavior and meltdowns, the ugly whisper returned…
You haven’t changed one bit now have you?
All those old selfish patterns are coming right back as soon as you leave the Race.
What a waste of a year.
I covered my ears in an attempt to block them out, eventually falling into a fitful sleep.
This morning I woke up to a different whisper.
It was a quieter whisper- gentler but also firm. It bid me to come outside and to bring my journal.
As I sat down in the cool of the morning outside Scout Hall, the Lord started to speak to me again. He asked me to write out the lies that I was hearing.
That came easy…
When that was done, He told me to listen to Him for a change, to flip through His Word, and write down the truth that counteracted each lie.
It had been a few days since I had listened to Him and thus took a little more time,
but soon the page was filled with words of freedom.
And just like that the lies lost their power.
It’s almost laughable now that I believed them.
But it makes so much sense-
Of course the devil would try to pummel me down right before going home. He doesn’t like what has transpired this year, and he certainly doesn’t want any of it going back to America with me.
But the truth is, I am not the same person that got on that airplane eleven months ago.
Chains that I had been carrying around for years have been stripped off of me,
and they are NEVER coming back.
I am free of all addictions, all bonds, all guilt, all self-loathing, all selfishness, all manipulation, all people pleasing and all fear,
And nothing can take that freedom away.
It is for freedom we have been set free.
If you are hearing lies today I want to encourage you to go listen to Truth.
Because, for the rest of our lives lies will be thrown at us,
but these lies only have power over us if we let them.
Truth, on the other hand, sets us free.
It is our sword against the Liar because it strips him of his power.
Let’s let freedom reign in our hearts today.
