My heart is bursting as I lay in my hostel bed in Dublin trying to process a year’s worth of experiences.
Friends from around the world keep running through my mind:
Javier with his red cap and twinkling grin,
Grandma Mouen's deep, knowing eyes,
The playful Thai children at Remember Nu,
Sara's sweet smile and gentle spirit,
Tiza and his quirky laugh,
The Romanian street children's joyful dancing,
Andrea and his supernatural strength,
And Martha with her youthful spirit.
Memories of dancing in the rain in Haiti, challenging a Thai jungle with machetes, kneeling beside the bed of a dying woman in Malawi, climbing up mountains in Swaziland, lugging my pack across European cities, and running through the lush Irish country side stir bittersweet emotions in my heart.
This is really the end.
In a matter of a few plane flights, I will be wrapped in my mama’s arms and sitting on my back patio under the Sycamore trees.
My time on the World Race is over.
Even just saying that makes my chest tighten with emotion – I had been so excited to return to my family that I didn’t realize the deep sorrow I felt for what was being left behind. This year has changed my life forever and it seems so strange to be leaving.
And yet, I know unquestionably that it is time.
It’s time to go home, leave this experience, and step into the next adventure.
So, rather than mourning, I find myself celebrating.
The Lord has been so faithful this year.
Every prayer I had coming into this year He has answered. He has provided deep friendships, constant protection, perseverance, joy in the struggle, deep freedom in my soul, endurance, and energy. Even little requests like having running buddies and working at an orphanage He has given to me. He has opened my eyes to the world and He has changed me.
Before I walk away, I want to say thank you…
First to the Lord for doing all that He promised and more.
Next, to the ladies of Joy'l, the only team on J Squad that stayed together all year:
Thank you for me up when I didn’t have the strength, for loving me when the ugly came out, for seeing the good in me especially when I could not, and for selflessly giving yourselves to me day after day.
And finally, thank you to my family and friends at home: For supporting me and sending me out, for loving me from across the world, for encouraging me month after month, for lifting me up in prayer, for reading my blogs, and for walking with me every step of this journey.
Although I am on my back to you, one thing is clear:
The race is not over.
The Lord is not done with me. I’m not coming home perfectly shiny, incredibly wise or overly spiritual. I don’t have it all together or know all the answers. I'm not even sure what this next season holds.
But I do know that even better things are yet to come.
I can feel it in my chest and catch glimpses of it as I lie dreaming. The World Race is not the greatest thing the Lord will do with my life, but this is just the beginning. He has awakened my soul this year to the endless adventures He has in store for me.
And I know without a doubt that the next season is going to be just as beautiful as this last one. It’s going to be just as powerful, just as exciting, and just as meaningful.
And I couldn’t be more excited for it.
