“You are worthy. Worthy to be a team leader, worthy to receive love”
“You are healed. Healed in all aspects- physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. And it’s healED as in it already happened, but also as in the process, and as in the Lord is speaking it over you as a promise.”
“You are His joy.”
As I sat on a chair in the middle of the room underneath the hands of 18 women, the words washed over me and breathed life into the core of my being.
For almost thirty minutes the prophetic words continued to come,
every phrase resonating deep with in my soul,
affirming my identity and speaking truth into lies I was believing.
There were other things as well…
things of my past, images that the Lord has given me that I have never even told anyone, visions of my future, instilling hope and direction.
Every night after dinner, the three teams who live in this house gather in the kitchen for what we call “ATL hot seat.” ATL stands for Ask The Lord, and what we do is pick a name from the hat and that person sits in a chair while the rest of us asks the Lord what he wants to say to that person.
Every night a new name is picked, and tonight was my turn.
It was the most encouraging experience I have ever had. These weren’t just nice words, they were words from God himself. Only he knows my heart that intimately. Only he could've known the specifics of what I was struggling with and speak life into those deep places of my heart.
And what was craziest to me was the timing of it.
That morning I had finally broken down before the Lord. As the sun rose over the rooftops, the lies and doubts that had been brewing for the last few weeks surfaced onto my journal.
“Lord, it is a mistake that I am in leadership. I’m not enough- not spiritual enough, nor strong enough, nor experienced enough, nor equipped enough, nor wise enough to lead these women. I should be giving more, serving more, doing more, reaching out more.”
After it was all out, I begged him to speak to my heart
“But I will wait on the Lord. I live off your words alone.
Right then on the rooftop He did just that.
My pen couldn’t scribble fast enough to keep up with the words he spoke to me.
“Annie, I love you. I love you. I love you.”
I chose you to be in this position of leadership before you were born. I believe in you. I trust you with these women.
There are things inside of you that you don’t even know about. There is gold in your heart that I am bringing out. Im not done yet.
I hear every prayer that is uttered on your lips and I tell your Father. And your Father has a soft place in his heart for you. He cherishes you. He is proud of you.
Keep praying, keep fighting, keep asking.
I will strengthen you and give you all that you need.
You are my joy, my bride, my daughter, my beloved."
He continued to speak to me like that for half the morning.
Just in case I didn’t believe Him, he had my name picked out of the hat that night for ATL.
Almost everything the Lord spoke to my heart that morning, he reiterated word for word through the mouths of my teammates that night.
Word for word!
During ATL someone always records the prophecies and visions. The next day when I re-listened to the recording, I realized many of the phrases and visions were verbatim what I had written in my journal the morning before.
It was as if he spoke to me that morning just to affirm that I hear his voice and He speaks to me, and the things he whispers to me aren’t just meaningless jargon that I make up, but they are truth from Him.
Some of the things that were spoken I knew, but they spoke other things as well.
They showed me things I couldn’t see. And they helped pull me out of a pit of lies that I had been squatting in.
It was powerful.
I walked away so affirmed in my identity, so empowered, and just so in love with Jesus.
He didn’t have to do that.
He didn’t have to show me that kind of love.
But I guess he loves me more than I realized,
I just have to ask him to tell me.
