This week has been quite eventful for, 1st off I made it onto television by preforming an interpretive dance with Pamela Gessler at our church. At the time I was really embarrassed by it because I felt like I made a lot of mistakes throughout the performance but once I saw and heard how the people here loved it I become more okay with it. I learnt the dance with Pamela in about 1hr n 30min, and I wasn’t really worried about it at all until we got to church and I saw them setting up this pretty big video camera in the aisle. I looked at Pamela and was like, “on no I’m freaking out”, and then I saw them hook up a cable to it and in my head I was thinking is this live television? I decided to put that aside and just focus on doing what I was suppose to do and after we did our dance our ministry host told us that we were just on TV. So that made me laugh a little, this town we’re living in is quite small and so pretty much anyone watching TV saw us including people from our squad who happened to be at our other pastors house preparing dinner. So that will probably be my interesting story from Nicaragua, how I became famous in Palacaguina; a small mountain town.
One of our jobs this week brought us to a building site where we’re doing prep work for a young woman and her daughter to build a 1bdroom home. Right next to this site there is a sweet old lady who lives there, a couple of girls from my team went over to talk to her and when they got inside they saw a really sad living scenario. This lady only has cardboard placed on top of a cot frame and that’s where she sleeps, she has 3 sons, 2 that live with her. One son (22yrs) was very sick and she couldn’t afford more medicine for him and her other son has autism and is also in his 20s. She had no food that was edible, she had a bucket of rotting corn tortilla’s and no water. So as a group we pitched in and the girls bought her food; rice, beans, corn flour and a pot to cook it in, they also got her water and more medicine. Things are really cheap here so altogether it was about 10$ American to buy all of that. We went to work there again today and we the received good news that her son was feeling better, praise God! She also asked how long we would be here because she has the supplies to finish her roof on her front porch but she can’t pay anyone to do it for her so we’re hoping that we will be able to bless her in getting that done before we leave.
Last night our squad leader Joel spoke to us about finding our identities in Christ and at one point he got us to close our eyes and told us to envision ourselves in our mothers womb. As we pictured this he told us to hear what God spoke over us as we were in the womb before we were born into a world of sin. What came to me was comforting and so reassuring, He said to me; you are loved, I love you, you are wanted, and in my name you will be GREAT. These are things I have struggled with my whole life not feeling loved and always feeling like I had to be more or different in order to be accepted and not feeling wanted as I was. And knowing that God spoke those things into me before I was even born brought me to tears, He knew how I would feel and what I would go through and He wanted me to be confident in knowing that He wanted me and that He loved me and that was enough. I know that growing up I was loved and I was wanted but Satan had such a hold on me in those areas that I could never accept the truth or even believe it just a little bit. And I’m on a road of healing and recovery and God is showing me His love and He is pouring His truth in so that those lies are being diminished in me. Please continue to pray for me as I walk in this and as I learn more of who I am in Christ.
