Yesterday was hard. Meagan, I and Steph went to the dumps to film her interview piece. We were in the middle of filming when some people ran by yelling. We turned around to see a garbage truck bringing in a fresh ¨load¨ of stuff. We shot everyone crowding around the garbage truck, waiting for the load to drop. They ranged from a little boy around 7-8 to older folks just eager to shift through the stuff. By then more of the group had arrived and we all just kind of stood there, watching, not believing what was going on.
It´s funny, but the first time we went to the dump, I didn´t feel that this had a effect on me. This time things were different. Meagan and I stood, watched and talked about what was going on. I started to get teary, so I walked away for awhile. Honestly, I think at that time what I was bothered by the most is thinking, when I come home, I don´t know how I can effictively communicate what I saw and was going on. The sights, the smells, everything…will anyone truly be able to understand?
Later, I came back towards her and Linnea in the middle of the dump, to start packing up the tripod. A little girl came running up to us. Her black hair was shoulder length and matted. She said she was 2, but looked to be more about 4 or 5. She had a red shirt on that was like two sizes to big and what looked like white, stone washed denim pants that looked like they could fall off of her any moment. Every part of her was covered in dust and dirt. Her feet were just caked with mud and she was barefoot.
Linnea handed me my personal water bottle as Meagan was bent down talking to the little girl. I stood by just listening to the conversation. She asked Meagan for something and I knew what she asked, but something inside of me all of a sudden became possessive. All she asked for was some water to drink…and I was the only one that was carrying any amongst the three of us.
Now, in all that we´ve done and seen, you would think that it would be easy just to give her some, but for some reason, I couldn´t. Meagan asked if any of us wanted to give her some and I didn´t know how to respond.
I hesitated.
I still kick myself for doing that. The dumb bottle cost $2.40 from where I use to work and I was hanging on to it. Did it really mean THAT much to me? What on earth was wrong with me? All she wanted was some water.
So, I asked, does she want the whole thing and Meagan said, no just a drink. The verse then popped into my mind about giving those in need a cup of cold water. By then, I was embarassed that it took me so long and by my response to the whole situation. So, I unscrewed the lid (which is larger than most) and Linnea said to pour some into that. So, I did, gave it to her and this big smile came across her face and in Spanish told me thank you very much.
My heart broke.
I asked if she wanted more and she didn´t. She only wanted one cup, not even the whole bottle.
By then, I was so torn up that I just walked to the edge of the dump and burst into tears. I just kept walking around and processing what just happened for quite a while.
I´m not really sure how to even close this blog out, other than as I was walking, I saw a piece of cloth on the ground with bright stripes on it. It was with some other fabric, probably from a sweat shop but for some reason, this one stood out. So, I now have that piece, just as a reminder of what happened, what I learned and a reminder to continue to pray for those in the dump, that now have a special spot in my heart.
