Well, here I am only 6 days from training camp and about a month and a half until launch! 2 weeks ago I packed up all of my stuff in Springfield, Missouri, and headed home to good ol' St. Cloud, Minnesota. College is officially done, and I am a 2011 graduate from Evangel University. So…does life feel profoundly different now? Nope, not so much. I've kind of been stuck in a rut since getting home actually. My stuff is mostly scattered throughout the house, still packed. I'm not feeling terribly energetic or inspired to do a whole lot. If I unpack, that admits the last chapter of my life is over and a new one is beginning. Honestly, there are some parts of these last four years, good and bad, that I'm just struggling to let go of and fully move on to the next chapter of life.
A few months ago, as the whole process for the WR began, the whole idea seemed extremely exciting and wonderful – going to 11 unfamiliar countries, living in community with new people, trying new foods, living in new cultures, spreading God's love to those often considered unloveable – pretty neat way to spend a year after college right?! But the closer it gets…the more the glittery appeal fades away & it seems overwhelming & I feel unqualified. I mean, let's consider this again –
going to 11 unfamiliar countries, living in community with new people, trying new foods, living in new cultures, spreading God's love to those often considered unloveable – not just anyone can do something like that, and who am I to think that I, of all people, am capable?!
And all of a sudden, here I am, about to begin this crazy journey. Lots of my conversations with God recently have been to the effect of, "Umm…you sure about this God? Remember, this is me…Anne…we're talking about here. Don't you think I'm kinda unprepared? Maybe if I had more time to like do an in-depth study of each country & learn at least the basics of the languages I'd be more suited for something like this? Or maybe if I had a degree in Missions or Cultural Studies or something? Or if I spent an exponentially greater amount of time praying and studying your Word? Cuz I know that area has been kinda off and on – definitely not in the spiritual warrior stage that seems appropriate for someone about to embark on a trip like this." And on and on I ramble…God patiently listening the whole time. He's amazing like that.
Just tonight I finally decided it's time to get over this annoying, lazy phase I've entered the past couple of weeks. I had a nice heart-to-heart chat with God and decided it's time to really start living in the reality of the present, to stop dwelling on or wanting to go back to places in my past, and to look forward to what's ahead. So, the cleaning process began – not only with my thought process & spiritual well being, but literally as well – turns out there really is still a floor in my room, who knew?!
As I started to get organized, I noticed the potted plant over on my desk. And then God taught me a couple of object lessons based on that plant – I thought it was pretty neat. I had only watered the plant once since getting home, so it was very dry. Naturally, I poured some water on it – after about 2 glasses worth, it finally stopped absorbing water. After a few moments, I heard a trickling noise & looked around, then noticed there was water running out from the plant's pot. Lesson #1: In that moment, I felt like God was telling me something like this: "Hmm, look at that. That plant was pretty dry, but you gave it water – as much water as it could handle, and more. Then the water overflowed around the plant. Now let's reconsider that situation with you as the plant. You don't think you have enough to give or the necessary prerequisites for this journey I'm about to take you on. And in your own abilities, you don't. But I'm more than enough. You're still in this process of becoming who I've created you to be, and that process will be continuous. However, I will always be with you and as I pour out my living water on you, it will overflow around you." I know I can't do this on through my own strength. In God's eyes, that makes me an ideal candidate because I know I need to rely on Him. And even though I've still got lots to learn, God will fill me to overflowing with his Spirit and his love. Again, He's amazing like that.
Also, I noticed the plant was growing towards the window, where the sunlight is. The side away from the window looks pretty shabby compared to the other side. Hence, Lesson #2: Growth towards the Son is key in all areas of life. Holding back some parts of myself will hinder all areas of my life…not to mention it makes for a pretty weird looking plant. And it's gotta be growth towards the Son, no seemingly justifiable replacements. The other side of that plant faces the light in the center of my room – but just because it's a source of light doesn't make the plant grow because it's not facing the real sun. As a result, part 2 of lesson 2 is that the Son has to be the focal point. It's not good enough to give God half of myself and expect full growth – I need to be totally surrounded so that growth can occur. And even if I keep myself busy with good causes & plans, if God's not the center, there won't be any growth. It's pretty straight forward.
So there you have it – simple lessons to be learned from a plant. Plants need water and sunlight. If they don't have those two things, they die. It's not rocket science – trust me, I remember doing class experiments about it in second grade. Spiritual life is similar to plants, but it can be even further simplified. All that's really necessary is Jesus. So simple, yet we (well at least I) make it so complicated sometimes. I'm confident knowing that God's going to use me in amazing ways as I continue this journey with Him and around the world. I know that I just need to focus on Him and not let any distractions (even the seemingly good-intentioned ones) get me down or off-track. …Not to mention all of the analogies I could go into between plants and life about keeping bugs away (those annoyances that eat away at you), using fertilizer (not always pleasant, but beneficial to growth), using chemicals or not (easy way versus hard work), etc… The list could go on and on! But I'll stop now before I get too carried away & my comparisons get too far fetched…you're welcome.
I think it's pretty cool that God can use any means to show up & provide teaching & encouragement when it's most needed. Now let's consider this just one more time – going to 11 unfamiliar countries, living in community with new people, trying new foods, living in new cultures, spreading God's love to those often considered unloveable – essentially following where God leads outside of my comfort zone and growing closer to Him and those He loves so dearly, all to bring Him glory. How truly humbling and thrilling to be part of this experience.
