Can I be honest with you? Like, really, really transparent?
The past couple of weeks, I have not wanted to go on the World Race.
February was one of the best months of my life, and I realized that my life is stinkin’ awesome right now. The Lord has given me incredible best friends from an incredible church. I am so comfortable at home. I like going to the Daily Grind every Thursday and ordering a Toffee Coffee java cooler with the extra big straw and a gluten free scone. I like living by myself in a house on the lake with my parents close by. I like my cat. I nanny the best kids on the planet. I love everything about where I am right now.
There’s been this nagging in me— so why go? Everything is great for you. You don’t really need to go share the gospel. You don’t really need to leave everything for a year. You don’t really have to commit to singleness until you get back.
Thankfully, this is a nagging that people have experienced throughout Scripture.
Just before the Lord gave the Israelites the Promised Land, he sent spies into it to survey the land and gather its fruit. When they reported back to Moses, they gave this account:
“We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey. But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are very fortified and large…We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” (Numbers 13:27-28, 31 emphasis mine).
The Israelites had seen the goodness of the Promised Land, but they were immediately blinded by their “can’ts”. They forgot about the sovereignty and goodness of God in the face of their fear. The nagging told them to turn back to Egypt and forsake God’s plan. As a consequence, the Lord didn’t allow anyone from that generation to enter the Promised Land.
In my life right now, the World Race is my “promised land”. I have seen its fruit already. The Lord is paving a way for me to go. I have raised $6,600 in the past two months (what the poop). CLEARLY He has ordained that this will happen.
But, at the end of the day, I’m scared. I’m scared of leaving the comforts of home. What if the people on the Race are scary? What if it’s really hard? I can’t do that, Lord. I can’t leave my best friends for a year. I can’t leave my church. I physically can’t do it.
I’m letting my own “can’ts” stand in the way of what the Lord has clearly called me to do.
The Lord has distinctly told me to go, and moreover, He challenges me to get rid of my “I can’ts”. I am empowered by the Holy Spirit of God to do hard things, and I can firmly declare that this doubt I’ve been feeling is not from Him. He said “go,” and go I shall. I can go because of Christ in me. May I not be so caught up in my “I can’ts” that I miss out on the Promised Land the Lord has for me.
I don’t know yet if the World Race is going to be a land of milk and honey. It could be the hardest, most challenging thing I’ve ever done. Either way, He is faithful, and even if it’s hard, He is still good.
With just 6 months left until I launch, will you please be praying that I will keep my eyes on Jesus? He is everything that I need, and He is the motivation for everything I’m doing. There is a real enemy who hates the idea of me sharing the gospel, and he will try to do anything to make me turn back. Pray that I remember Jesus wins and that everything He calls me to do is for His glory and my good. Pray that I will not so needlessly cling to home instead of allowing the Lord to use me through the World Race.
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How can I be praying for YOU during this season? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE and GIVE!
