One difference in Ecuadorian culture is personal space. Basically, it doesn’t exist. This poses a bit of a problem when you take public transport every day. Standing shoulder to shoulder like sardines on the bus was not my favorite. At first, I was very stressed out and uncomfortable. I hated the buses. Then I plugged in music and choose to enjoy the ride. Now I like bus surfing. I love staring out at the traffic and the city. I don’t mind the people crowded around me, after all they are God’s people. This is the kind of perspective shift I had to choose this week. Everyday I have a choice. Am I going to let my circumstances define me, or am I going to define my circumstances?
This last week was my first week at my new ministry. My first day quickly turned from excitement to frustration. I was exhausted and agitated. I felt left out, and I was easily bitter and overwhelmed. I was weighed down and sad. I tried to blame everyone else for how I was feeling and I bought into lies. I was living from what we would call the victim circle. I was letting people, life, and circumstances affect me instead of taking control of my attitude, perspective, and choices.
I had to recognize where I was at and bring my bitterness and frustration to God. I asked Him to help me choose joy and take my thoughts captive. As I focused on God and chose joy, my perspective changed.
Suddenly ministry was awesome. I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. It became my job to sort through the two hundred some keys and test all of them, organize them, and replace labels. It has been a never-ending project, I started with my squad leader and I’m still not done, but I love it.
Then the other day, it was my job to clean the living room windows of our house. I asked Fabi and Mabe how to do it but they told me different answers each time and I was thoroughly confused. Apparently there’s not one way to clean a window, you just have to go for it. I ended up standing on the window sill on the outside of the house (don’t worry Dad it was the first floor (:), reaching through the bars, having a blast in the intensely sunny morning. Half of me wanted to complain about how long it was taking, but I knew I was enjoying cleaning the window, although I wasn’t sure why.
It’s easy to be frustrated and let life dictate me, but I don’t have to. I’m taking control of my life, I’m choosing joy, and I’m choosing God first. I’m going to stand firm in who I am and not let my insecurities define me. I’m going to fill my life with as much love and joy as I can. I can’t help myself, the love of God is way too infectious.
