Living a life for Jesus is hard. We see this all throughout scripture. Deciphering the will of God is hard as well. Almost every Christian can testify to that. With this being said, the last two weeks have been the most emotional 2 weeks I’ve ever lived. I’ve never woke up crying and gone to bed crying for days on end. But for a lot of reasons, I have the past two weeks. (Nothing is traumatically wrong, I usually test about an 80% feeler on Myers brig if that tells ya anything.) It’s hard for me to write that I’m not enjoying the first part of being away, given that so many people have sacrificed so much. So I’m sorry in advance for my sadness. I wish I could walk everyday with a strong head and strong feet, but the fact of the matter is that I’m so weak. My heart aches everyday and it’s so hard. I value every second I spend in God’s word because of the life it brings my weary spirit. God continues to be my one comfort in everything and I honestly wish so so so bad that I didn’t feel the way I did. But I know that God uses everything for His glory and that my life isn’t run by my emotions. So I continue to serve to the best of my ability, despite the feelings I feel. But man oh man is it draining. Again, to everyone reading who faithfully supported me, I’m very sorry that the last two weeks I haven’t been able to serve to the extent that I would like. I’m thankful for the grace you give me, and the grace God gives me. This is my update for this week and I’m sorry it can’t be more uplifting:( there is hope here and I can see God working. I know there’s a reason for pain in everything! If any of you are confused or want to know the details of my feelings, feel free to message me!
“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”
1 Peter 1:6-7
