I think a lot of our lives we our spent doubting ourselves. Our capabilities, talents, callings, relationships. Maybe it is because of our insecurities, trust problems, or fears. That thing in the back of our mind telling us “no you’re not capable”, “you’re not the best”. How could we though? Out of the millions and millions of people on this earth why have we been chosen to do this. What makes me better than the next guy? What makes me capable of leaving the closest people to my heart and going somewhere that is brand new for nine months?
While making this decision on whether to go on this mission or not, that was the one question going through my mind. Wait, I lied. It wasn’t a question or decision. I knew when this opportunity was put in front of me that 100% the Holy Spirit had led me to something. Something bigger than me, but so right for me I felt it through my fingertips. That no one could make me doubt what God wanted me to do. I made this decision last July and to this day anytime someone has doubted me or my experience or my faith the Holy Spirit has been so strong in me that it doesn’t even think twice about those thoughts. Before last July I didn’t think I was capable. A lot of my past mistakes made me think twice about my plan and what laid ahead of me. But the holy spirit was still alive inside of me even when I denied the magnitude of my faith for God and how strong this fire inside of me was to be a Kingdom Worker. Going to college wasn’t enough I needed to be front line where the people of God needed me most.
The craziest part about my journey is the immense amount of faith I have grown in God because of what he has led me to do. With this the amount of emotions I would’ve thought would be more intense, or more apparent, but I underestimated the Lord once more. When telling people about my trip they often ask “Are you scared?”, and the honest answer is no. I am so sure that this is where I am supposed to be and what I am suppose to do that the Lord has got my back.
It is almost as if since I started to grow my relationship with God I have been blowing and blowing this bubble to make it bigger almost to the point where it covers my face. It gets bigger with every CIY I go to and all the people that have poured into me. Then suddenly it pops, but you understand why and finally able to embrace the pop and take pictures with the debris all over your face. Here is me embracing my pop.
