I’ve been living in India for twenty-one days. We are encouraged to write one blog a week on the field. Can you guess how many I’ve written? The answer sweet friend is zero. My journal is filled with memories and things that The Lord has been teaching me while in India, yet my blog site remains untouched. Why? That’s the real question.
After searching my heart and digging deep, I’ve finally uncovered it. The reason my writing has ceased is because I have been searching for the perfect words to say, something profound that will tug at your heartstrings and change your life. But the truth is that words escape me here in India. Oftentimes I find myself sitting in awe completely speechless. There simply aren’t enough words to convey to you the thousands of emotions I’ve felt and situations I’ve encountered.
No phrases can capture the agony I feel as I turn away children begging on the street corner who have pimps to answer to. The money these children collect is taken from their hands and delivered to the men and women who exploit these little ones’ misfortune. Tears fill my eyes as I hold a sweet little girl who is unable to move or speak and has been left by her family at an orphanage that I visit. To think about the many other children with disabilities who are abandoned just like her.
Among these moments come the thousands of joyous memories that too lack verbal expression. Visiting families in villages who have so little money, yet never fail to provide us with cold pop and warm smiles. Twirling around the little girls in these homes who squeal with delight and tickling the boys whose laughter is contagious. Feeling the salty spray of the Bay of Bengal splashing our faces as we dive into the water. Holding a mischievous three-legged monkey whose facial expressions far outnumber my own.
No sentences can be formed to spell out how I feel in these moments. I wish that you could be here with me through it all, to experience the things that I encounter daily here. The struggles and victories that Christ has led me through over the last three weeks. These words that I write will never be sufficient to capture the essence of life in India, and I’m okay with that. I’m nowhere near perfect, so I don’t have those perfect words that I have been searching for. But all glory, honor, and praise goes to Him who uses people like me to spread the Gospel- people who are messy and blubbery, who stumble through conversations and aren’t eloquent in speech. He chooses to use us as vessels to shine His light in even the darkest of moments. Thank you Jesus for the opportunity to spread your love and share your stories even when I lack the words to say.
