Thailand-the Land of Smiles. A place filled with people like Jenny, whose broad grin and eager eyes light up a room. Or the man who sits on the side of the street who, despite losing both of his legs, has one of the most jovial souls that I have ever met. Thai people have brought so much happiness to my heart.
A few blocks away from our hostel in Thailand, the infamous Bar Street resides- a place where women, girls, and ladyboys are all available for purchase at the customer’s convenience. I’ve seen countless old men staggering in the streets, eyeing up their next conquest who’s barely past the age of 20. It’s not the pungent scent of alcohol or the way their hands claim ownership over these girls’ bodies that I notice about these men at first glance, I look at the face of each man purchasing a woman for sex and I see the same thing- dead eyes. Eyes that are looking to satisfy a deep desire to be known and loved. When I look around the bar at the women, girls, bar moms, and ladyboys, I see the same thing so skillfully tucked away behind layers of
makeup and skimpy clothing: dead eyes.
I should know…I used to have dead eyes too. Eyes that reflected the emptiness I felt in my heart – a heart that so desperately wanted to be loved by a man and was crushed when it didn’t happen. My heart grew hard and I had finally had enough. I didn’t have any desire to live in a world where I wasn’t loved. I was done fighting and I had no plans of carrying on. So I closed my dead eyes. I embraced the ashes. But out of the ashes, the Lord picked me up and brought me back to life. Like a phoenix, I was reborn with new eyes – eyes that reflect the deepest love; my Father’s love for me. From death comes life, and it’s such a beautiful thing.
God is in the business of bringing dead eyes to life. He has been from the start. My favorite person from the Bible with dead eyes is Saul. Saul was one of the greatest persecutors of Christianity during his time. In Acts 9:1-2 it says, “But Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.” But God met him at Damascus – He spoke to Saul and caused him to be blind. The Lord changed his heart, restored his eyesight, and he became one of the greatest disciples.
It’s amazing what God can do with dead eyes.
Walking down Bar Street, I am filled with hope. I see so many Sauls waiting to be transformed by the power of the Lord- so many dead eyes ready to be brought back to life. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Bar Street will one day be redeemed for the Lord.
