I found this picture on my phone from when I was six. I have an expression of confusion or stern concentration on each molecule of sand I was moving to form this small pit. I see this picture and wonder what the girl in the captured moment was thinking. Every now and again I catch a smell of some of my favorite memories from the Outer Banks. In a flash, I’m back to sandy toes and wind blown hair. My family is surrounding me with kites and I’m laughing with my sister. Every piece of the world is right in front of my view. I don’t know anything outside of it. I’d like to think that in this moment I was realizing how vast the God of the universe is. And in some ways, maybe I was.
Of my knowledge to date, the Lord has been working on this heart for quite some time now. He was near to me that day on the dunes when my fingers were running through a world I had only caught a glimpse of. My siblings and I would jump off the top of a sand dune and see who could make it the farthest. I remember the rush of adrenaline I felt as my feet left the top of that mountain to then be planted firmly in the sand just a few feet ahead. The moment of airborne was a mix of fear and joy mushed into this obscure feeling of security. We would then take off to the bottom leaving a trail of footsteps behind. The girl on the mountain had no idea of all the valley’s she would walk through later in life, the amount of tears she would cry, or the overwhelming feeling of heartbreak for the broken world around her.
Each season of my life left an imprint in my heart that added up to the exact moment I’m at now. In Cote d’Iviore, on a pretty comfy bed, eating a knock off version of nutella (one of the best things I’ve found on the race so far tbh). As I’m reading through Deuteronomy, it’s constantly repeated how God brought the Israelites out of Egypt with a mighty hand and outstretched arm. I see this vision of the Lord literally reaching down with His hand, guiding these little Israelites into the promise land. Even when the Israelites were rebellious and acted against God, that never stopped Him from guiding them. This is completely relatable to my life. The amount of times I’ve rebelled against God is tragic but I can see how He’s redeemed my steps.
I’ve had many moments on the race where the Lord has given me the feeling of being airborne. I’ve done things that filled me with fear but also a sense of joy and security. Those are the moments I know I’m in the palm of God’s hand, being carried by the Spirit. God is constantly reminding me what it looks like to have childlike faith. The pain of the world can feel heavy but that’s another side of the Lord He wants me to know. He feels the weight of it all. I feel an ounce compared to the thousands of pounds He feels. He’s reminding me what it looks like to trust that my two feet are planted firmly in a world of light because that’s who He is. He’s allowed me to choose to follow His light and invite others into it. Jesus came to redeem it all. When I look at the face of the sweet kids here, I see the work of the Father. I wonder if they realize how unconditionally loved they are.
I wonder if in that moment on the dunes, I knew how unconditionally loved I am. I couldn’t have imagined all that the Lord would do to get me to where I am now. I can see His outstretched arm and mighty hand surrounding me in the sand. I can look back and see where my footsteps have been apart from His and where they’ve been together. When I walk the streets here, I’m fueled by faith for those I pass to feel the light of the Lord and for Him to transform their life in a way no one else can. I can now see God outside of time proudly looking at me and saying, “Oh the Places She’ll Go”.
Yours truly,
Anna
